Jerseystyle

I'm Always Right

2005-01-14T16:47:00.000-05:00

This is a fun read, written by my co-worker, Brandon. It's well referenced, well written, funny, and totally misguided. I like him anyway though. But seriously, what kind of person would really vote for John Kerry? Here's a snippet:

I sort of understand why people in the middle of the country might have voted the way they did.. but I also know college educated friends of mine who are right in line with the policies of the republican party and it's quite puzzling to me. Have they not been awake the past four years?

Brandon seems to be getting his blog in the swing of things. Check it from time to time.

Amazing

2005-01-14T16:27:00.000-05:00

I'm surprised it took me so long to find this. But go get lost. I spent nearly 2 hours browsing through these. These images actually gave me chills.

Changes a Coming

2005-01-14T13:50:00.000-05:00

I'm heading up into snow country tonite after work. I'll be driving up to Poughkeepsie to drop off a machine at my old college friends hacker cave. The machine will eventually host a new enhanced Jerseystyle. I'll be moving to Movable Type and using the domain www.jerseystyle.net. Don't try it yet, it won't work for a week or so. Moveable Type requires quite a bit of tweeking to get it how I like it. I'm pretty excited about getting off blogspot. Really excited infact.

It's All Our Fault

2005-01-14T09:46:00.000-05:00

Is it too early to joke about the Tsunami? Yes. Is it too early to exploit it's occurance for your own political agenda? Yes.

Unscrupulous activists, who have so far been unable to enact a scheme for mandatory reductions in energy under the Kyoto Protocol on climate change, are telling whoever will listen, "See, we told you so!" "Greenhouse gases, largely from the United States and industrialized nations, have fueled a global warming trend that is melting the ice caps and contributing to a rise in sea levels that might have caused or aggravated the South Asia disaster."

Full Article Here

Barack Obama is the Head of the Worlds Deadliest Terror Organization - According to Ted Kennedy

2005-01-13T16:22:00.000-05:00

This little gem was sent over by Josh, my coworker. Josh is great because he likes to make fun of those silly lefties just as much as I do. Read the article if you like, but the real meat of it is in the very last paragraph.

Kennedy also mangled the name of the Democrats' new star, Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, calling him "Osama bin … Osama … Obama."

Josh: Ted Kennedy is the new George W.

Taco Bell Day

2005-01-13T13:31:00.000-05:00

Ever spend an hour and a half in Taco Bell? You're missing out. The new guy drove today for the first time. We are all standing in line at Taco Bell and he says "whats the worst thing you can do when you drive?" Yep, he locked the keys in the car. We ate, he walked across the plaza to the Good Year to arrange some help. After eating, calling work, and sitting there for a half hour bullshitting we went outside to find the new guy and his car. We realized that he locked the keys in the car with the bloody car running. I'm sure he was sufficiantly embarrased, and if not, we'll be making sure he remembers this :) More later, I have alot of work to get done today :(

Sumatra Update

2005-01-12T14:26:00.000-05:00

Powerline has a great letter from a US Navy man giving a first-hand account from Sumatra. The letter written by the man is detailed, empathetic, and very well written. Here's a bit of a teaser:

One of my crewmen got out to offer the ride, and to his surprise was greeted by a boy no older than 10 who spoke English almost as well as he did. The boy, translating for the adults around him, said that they couldn't go. This was their home and they needed to stay, but asked if we had any food or water for them. Sadly, we had given the last of our supplies out at our previous drop zone. It broke my heart to have to leave them with nothing, but I've made a promise to myself that tomorrow, I will visit them again, and I will make sure they have some rice and water to keep them going for a few more days.

Read the full letter here.

Funny Stuff

2005-01-12T10:54:00.000-05:00

This was just sent to me by a housemate. It had me laughing out loud at work... How Women and Men Shower Differently How to Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. 7. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 9. Rinse conditioner off hair. 10. Shave armpits and legs. 11. Turn off shower. 12. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. 13. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. 15. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 16. Wipe up any water that got on the floor. 17. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 18. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs. 19. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 20. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How to Shower Like a Man 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. 3. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. 4. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 5. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your behind. 6. Get in the shower. 7. Wash your face. 8. Wash your armpits. 9. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 10. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 11. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 12. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 13. Wash your hair. 14. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 15. Pee. 16. Rinse off and get out of shower. 17. Partially dry off. 18. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 19. Admire wiener size in mirror again. 20. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 21. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. 22. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. 23. Throw wet towel on bed.

State of Fear

2005-01-11T22:00:00.000-05:00

It is impossible to ignore the effects of nature these days. Just 2 week ago 150,000+ people died because of an earthquake that spawned a massive tsunami. Days later the midwest US recieved record snow amounts, and more is on the way. Just days after that, the volume of rain in California caused a landslide killing more than 10 people. As i look out my window now, after 4 days of rain, I can see the Raritan River spillways flooding well beyond the river limits. Just today, NASA announced that a massive collision of an iceberg that broke off the western edge of antarctica with a similar sized icetip would occur just days after the breakoff. Oh, and don't forget that this summer saw some of the most devastating hurricane seasons in recorded history. So, just what the hell is going on? Many would probably claim that the answer is global warming. I am not a scientist, and even if I was, I wouldn't understand how the environmnet works. No scientist on the planet knows how it works. That, is a fact. Michael Crichton believes that global warming is nothing more than a load of bull. He could not have timed his newest novel 'State of Fear,' any better. It sounds terrible when you say it - boy Michael, you sure got lucky that that tsunami happened, you're going to sell alot of books. It's true though. With the recent bitchyness of mother nature, Michael Crichton has released probably the most relevant current-event piece of fiction ever. The interesting part about Crichton is his books are only slightly fictional. The amount of research on real world ideas that go into his books are mind boggling. Crichton is a scientist first, and it is reflected in every word he writes. If I were taxed with writing a college level paper on environmental effects and the data we have today, the first place I would look is to the pages and pages 'State of Fear.' Given those notes and resources alone, I'd have a long list of books and data to sift through to write my paper. What's the best part of this book? The "Authors Message". Everytime I turned a page I thought to mysef, "I wonder where Michael really stands on these issues. Does he actually believe what he has his main characters saying?" It turns out he does, and he tells us in his message. You couldn't ask for more from an author. He put himself completely out there with this book. He, gave us his notes, he made his beliefs clear. Everyone should be as thorough. I don't know whether or not global warming is real. I know that Crichton makes a damn good case against it however. Given the relevant time, I highly suggest you go grab yourself a copy of this book and read it. Read it cover to cover. There is a wealth of information in there, all packaged up into a fun little story. Related: Times Online Interview with Crichton

Some Things to Read

2005-01-11T11:18:00.000-05:00

Eleven Elephants has their top 11 list for 2004 up. I've got my two cents in there, go check it out. Poop explains what life has left for us after we turn 25. Funny stuff. Bisti spent some time yesterday speaking about the beginning, present, and future of blogs. He makes some really funny/interesting observations. It's sort of like watching a VH1 special on Blogs. Here's a snippet:

The dot.com boom legitimized internet for the masses. Like Rudy Guliani kicking out all of the homeless people off of Broadway and 42nd street, the internet was open for business. AIM became mainstream which let people put things into their profile. Since 95% of personal web pages at the time consisted of "i 1 2 say hi 2 mi peeps! Shoutz out to Lindsay! I luv u gurl!@!@!", sites like geocities, tripod and angelfire quickly became barrel wastelands of dust covered "Under Construction" animated gifs and failed attempts at guestbooks. Around the same time, Livejournal was starting up, letting the angsty emo chick sitting behind you let everyone know just how sad she was. Livejournal was a hotbed of bad poetry, dark pictures, and teenage angst. The demographic stayed the same for a few years, but two years or so, the word blog started getting thrown around.

Read the full article here While we are on the subject of really good blogs you should go read Lileks. This is what a blog should be. It's amazing how reading what Lileks has to say can actually make me a little bit less stressed out. Take 5 minutes out of your day and work him into your blog reading. You won't regret it.

Barghouti Conceedes

2005-01-10T16:23:00.000-05:00

As expected, Mahmoud Abbas has claimed victory in the Palestinian elections. His first act as President, extending a teaser of peace to the Israeli people. While I am skeptical of Abbas' ability to lead the Palestinian nation to any kind of true peace talks, the effort is noted. Meanwhile, President Bush is at least acknowledging the completion of what appears to have been a successful demonstration of democracy in Palestine.

"I offer my congratulations to Abu Mazen. I look forward to talking to him at the appropriate time. I look forward to welcoming him here to Washington if he chooses to come here," Mr Bush said.

Quote Via BBC News

Varifrank Fires Back

2005-01-10T15:32:00.000-05:00

This is an absolute must read. Every now and then in life you realize just exactly what you should have said in a certain situation. Varifrank will never have that realization when thinking about this episode. He said exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. Take 2 minutes out of your day and go read it.

Rather Report - Day 1

2005-01-10T13:39:00.000-05:00

Hugh Hewitt has finally gotten his hands on the Rather Report. As expected, the report washes over what is probably the most important question - was there a political bias involved with the story? The report conludes that there was not.

The Panel does not find a basis to accuse those who investigated, produced, vetted or aired the Segment of having a political bias.

Hugh disagrees with how they came to their conclusion.

Saturday Morning Rain

2005-01-08T13:04:00.000-05:00

First of all, happy birthday to Poop! I'll be hitting his party tonite along with several other bloggers. You should come check it out. It's going to be a mess :) If you don't read Poop, now is as good a time as any to get hooked on the genius of his blog. It seems that 3 out of 10 Americans have donated to the Tsunami relief effort. That's a rediculous amount. Great work. Lets get it to 5 out of 10! Looking for a new way to read your news in the morning? Check out 10x10. This is probably the most inovative site I've seen on the internet in years. That is all. Have a great weekend!

Media Coverage of Tsunami Casuing More Harm Than Good?

2005-01-06T10:43:00.000-05:00

All of this tsunami news has raised an interesting question regarding the reporting. While reporting on the devestation of the tsunami is certain news worthy, and ultimately will probably convince more people to donate to the relief effort. Is it at the same time undermining the ability for the region to fully recover? What do I mean by that? Well, the chief economic resource of that region of the world is defintely tourism. Right now, that industry is all but destroyed. In order to rebuild it, and consequently rebuild their world, they will need a steady stream of visitors coming back. It's sort of like after 9/11, the most important thing we were told by our President and other leaders was to keep spending money. Keep going to work. Keep being Americans. If these reports of the devestation go on as they are for much longer, the people of this region will not be able to live as they have lived in the past. There will be a terrible economic disaster, probably more terrible then the immediate loss of life caused by the waves. This is all speculation of course, but it does stand to some reason. Maybe the media needs to start working with the governments of this region to help them get out some good news. Others (hat tip to instapundit) are defintely concerned about this as well. This from a diving company local to the region:

Much to our dismay there are many unsubstantiated news stories about “total destruction” of Phuket’s coral reefs. Even our own effort to bring a CBS team to the Similans for a first hand look turned into a nightmare when they broke their promise and turned it into yet another “spectacular disaster” story. Our crew and passengers were quoted out of context and our underwater video footage used incorrectly. Never again! Several statements about reef destruction were made by so-called experts within hours of the disaster, before anyone even had a chance to dive the islands and check out what was really going on. That started all the rumours we are now fighting. A quote from one of many e-mails we received: "The coral around Thailand must have been blown to bits by the tsunami, how could it be otherwise?” The problem is that many people do not understand the mechanics. Tsunamis wreak havoc on shore and in shallow water, not in the deep!

Read their full update on the situation here, especially interesting is their firsthand reports on the underwater damage.

Damn Hookers

2005-01-05T13:32:00.000-05:00

In the interest of not censoring myself in anyway, I'm going to tell a story here. Up until now several close friends were privy and some even involved to this story, however I am relatively certain that my parents are not aware. Knowing full well that my parents read this blog...here goes :) Several Years ago while living in England I had this friend James. We met when I first moved there and he lived around the corner and went to the same school, so it worked out nicely. One night James and I went to London to do some boozing and just hang out. Midnight or so rolls around and James asks "Ever been to a strip club?" "Nope." "Wanna hit the red light district?" "Absolutely," I replied. As soon as we walked to into the red light region we had some guy run up to us. He knew right away what he was dealing with, a couple of young stupid yanks. He asked what kind of place we were looking for (he claimed to know the area rather well). I explained how I was just looking for a place to chill and have a beer....and where there would be naked chicks. What a coincidence, he knew just the place. We arrived at the front door and there was a cover charge of 10 pounds, roughly 18 dollars. That sucked. We were led down a narrow staircase that ended in a dark, damp basement. Here we were brought to a table in the corner and handed a pair of "menus." These were unlike ordinary menues. There was no food, no alcohol, just... clothing. Just then a rather homely looking girl dressed very scantily came to our table and explained to us how this worked. We were to pick an outfit, and she would try it on. She left to let us decide. James, wasted no time in picking an outfit and called the girl back over. She blushed and ran to tthe back room to put on our selection. Minutes later she was back at our table wearing our selection and fawning all over us. Neat! I picked a new outfit, James picked one. It went back and forth for quite some time. Finally though, it was time to leave. We said thank you to the model and made our way up from the table. Just as we were leaving the model said something very, very strange. "Goodnight, the manager will see you on the way out." I thought about that for a second and it occurred to me that this was a weird thing to say. Why would the manager need to see me? I should have realized what she meant, but I didn't and here is where things got hairy. We got to the door of the basement and 2 very large men came from around the corner. One was carrying a small piece of paper which he explained was our "bill." My heart sunk. I had seen no mention of a bill or prices on our "menu." No where posted in the venue was anything relating to chargers other then the cover charge posted. I took the bill and flipped it over to read to my horror that we owed some 350 pounds. Nearly 700 dollars. I actually laughed right in the mans face and explained to him calmly that I simply don't have the money. My dillusional friend James wasn't giving in so easily though, he thought that he would have the money in his bank if they would just let him go to the ATM. They agreed and sent an armed escort with him to go to the bank. I sat back down at our original table and the model/hooker came back over to console me. She apolized for getting us into this mess. I think she actually did feel bad. We were really young anyway. As expected, James walked back in with a frown. He was able to withdraw 30 pounds from his account. Great, we're almost there. The men would not let us leave without first having some sort of identification from us. We offered to let them copy down our drivers liscenses and they agreed. Both of us had American liscenses. This is what scared me the most. They said that unless we came back withen 24 hours with their money then there would be consequenses. I laid in bed that night considering what these consequenses could be. I actually was able to convince myself in my mind that they would take the address on those licenses and hunt us down in the states. Perhaps go after our families. Christ was I naive. It was such a small amount of money in reality. It would have cost more to get to the states or hire someone in the states to come after us. Nevertheless, I was scared. I called several friends at home in the states and had to tell my story and shamefully ask for loans that would be wired to me in England. I went back the next day and paid off the goons. They were obviously surprised to see me. Their scare tactics had worked on a stupid kid, and they got their money. It took some time but James eventually paid me the half that he owed me, and I was able to pay back my friends when I returned to the United States. Christ what a night though. I've never been back to a strip club.

Delivery!

2005-01-04T11:30:00.000-05:00

This is the probably the most rediculous thing I have ever seen in my life. That warrants a link i think.

Blog Reading Up 58%

2005-01-04T09:23:00.000-05:00

BBC News is reporting that blog reading in the United States is up 58% with 32 million Americans getting hooked. They note that some of the growth is probably credited to the presidential elections and the iraq war. Article here.

A "Laser"

2005-01-03T14:14:00.000-05:00

Yet another report today of a laser beam being directed into the cockpit of a commercial airliner. Officials have repeatedly said that there is no suspected link to terrorism here. Does anyone else feel that aiming a laser beam at a pilot is a rather inefficient way of bringing down an airplane? What else could they be using the lasers for? Perhaps target acquisition? Maybe they are testing their targeting capabilities for use in a future shoulder fired rocket attack. Seems like a pretty reasonable explaination to me.

WTF

2005-01-03T13:08:00.000-05:00

Why does the handicapped stall in my building need 3 rolls of toilet paper. The rest only have 1. Do handicapped people use toilet paper at such an incredibly fast rate that the janitor can not possibly hope to keep 1 roll of full paper in that stall? Maybe handicapped people steel toilet paper? Yes, so I use the handicapped toilet. I like the bars. And there's free toilet paper. Sue me.

Tsunami Aid

2004-12-30T11:03:00.000-05:00

It's really hard not to write about this, mostly because its next to impossible not to read about it . Tsunami blogs are popping up everywhere. I just wanted to point your attention to one rather interesting piece of information. As we speak the Amazon Tsunami effort is about to top 5 million US dollars in donations. The number is rising so fast you can actually sit there and watch it rise by clicking reload. What I find interesting is that many governments including the US have pledged monies ranging from $100,000 USD upwards of 5 to 10 million. These are governments. Then there is amazon, doubling, tripling, quadrupling the donation numbers of many of these governments. This is not a knock on those governments but rather a pat on the back to the effors of Amazon and all those who have donated. On average, people are giving roughly 50-60 dollars. Have you donated yet? Think it won't matter? It will. Every penny matters. Micro donations on the internet work everytime simply because of the millions of people donating. Have an extra dollar? Go donate. Here are some Tsunami related links: Jeff Ooi's "Screenshots" Blog Tsunami WIKI 156mb Bit Torrent (videos and images) at Reasons Unbeknownst Videos and images at Orgish (VERY VERY VERY GRAPHIC!!!) Another collection of links at GlobeLens Tsunami Help Blog Amazon's Tsunami Help Effort

God Loves Volvo's

2004-12-29T20:55:00.000-05:00

I, probably much like many others, spent a lot of time this week questioning my faith. Every morning as I read the news I see the death toll rise and rise. It seems that it will break the disgusting mark of 100,000 any time now. Not to mention that thousands that may die because of the epedemic threat that will follow in the next few week. All of this leads one to one obvious question. How can there be a god? Nearly 100,000 people are dead, 1/3rd of which are children. Nothing we did this time caused these deaths. They weren't from war, terrorism, or disease. This was the text book definition of an act of god. These people died because of something (probably the only thing left) that we, as humans, have no control over in any way shape or form. Children have no parents and parents have no children because the Earth felt like moving. Tuesday afternoon I got a call from my mom that swiftly put an end to my questioning. My youngest brother had been in a car accident. He is 17, it was likely his fault, and the car was totaled. Somehow though, my brother suffered no more then a few scratches. The pictures are priceless.
Wow.
Damn Volvo took it like a man.
This is the extent of the lucky SOB's injuries.
Have a Grateful Day. P.S. There are lots of websites out there with instructions on how to help the Tsunami victims. Google has a hub of links worth checking out. Also worth checking out is the great Tsunami blog here at blogspot.

I Hated Lost in Translation

2004-12-28T11:37:00.000-05:00

I saw Life Aquatic last night. I really wanted to write up a big review of this movie because it is just so goddamned reviewable. However walking out of the movie I felt as if I may have just wasted two hours of my life, and I promised myself I would waste no more. I say "i felt" because I'm not sure if this movie was good or not. Maybe it needs to sink in, maybe I need to see it again. I really have no idea. I'll say this, it was a giant cluster fuck of Wes Anderson humor combined with pot smoking Bill Murray in a light blue jump suit. Who knows whether or not that is a good thing. Not me. Roger Ebert says it best. "I can't recommend it, but I would not for one second discourage you from seeing it." Check out Rogers review. He's a professional. I will give this film one big piece of praise though. The soundtrack is phenominal. I'm talking Garden State good and then some. What can be better then a black guy doing acoustic french adaptations of various 1960-1970 David Bowie songs? Nothing. Thats what. Even in the end when they strayed from Bowie and brought in some beautiful Sigur Ros. Man, what a great sound.

Don't Read This If You Don't Like Whining

2004-12-25T22:46:00.000-05:00

I got home on Thursday night and was ready to go have some fun. I showered up and ate some pizza with the family and then headed out to the bar. It was your typical holiday bar outing - my whole highschool was there. I had all the normal holiday bar conversations. It was a little different this year though because I'm working now and generally enjoying myself. So I was a bit more open to such conversations. By 11 I was pretty liqoured up and headed out to the dance floor. I was one of the phew guys dancing and was probably being made fun of a bit for my pathetic dancing but whatever, fuck it. I was having fun. I danced until my knees hurt. I danced so much I forgot about drinking. It was great. Closing time came around and my friend Alicia (the one who I pimped out 2 weeks ago) went out side as we waited for her brother to give us a ride. I walked out with her, offered her my jacket (it was cold) which she took. Her feet hurt and her shoes were off and the ground was cold and wet so I offered a piggy back ride to the car. She laughed at me. So my brother walks out who is younger, better looking, and significantly bigger. Without hesitating she runs over to him and jumps on his back for an aforementioned piggy back ride. Now here's the thing. Did I want to give her a piggy back ride? Not really, I'm kind of small and not the strongest kid in the world. Did I want to give her my jacket? Not really, I'm kind of small and get very cold when its cold out. I offered both though because it's just what I do. The nice guy routine just doesn't work. Obviously I'm not trying to 'pick-up' my friend but I was just trying to be a nice guy. The big lumbering college boy drunken routine always works. The nice guys alway's just get laughed at. Even by their friends. Sooner or later it will probably change and the girls will come around and go for the nice guy. I just hope I have the stomach for them when they do. It's Christmas night and my brother went off with some girl and my sister went off with her boyfriend. My friends are with their respective other's family's or talking to their long-distance-other on the phone. Am I jealous? Maybe a little. I'm pretty comfortable with everything like it is right now. I have terrible luck with girls. Ultimately, I just don't have the patience for them and probably likewise them with me. I got to tell you though, It would have been nice to have someone to call today to wish a Merry Christmas. Someone to be excited to talk to me. Someone who appriciates my occasional inpatience and sarcasism. Most importantly, someone who laughs at me when I offer a piggy back ride, but jumps right on anyway.

Screw You Mom

2004-12-23T11:37:00.000-05:00

I saw a commercial on TV last night and it really made me laugh. There is this girl and she just got a brand new hearing aid that is allowing her to hear for her first time. What do they show in the commercial to demonstrate that? Effing rain. Congratulations, you can hear rain. I'm pretty sure that if the first thing this girl heard in her life was rain it would probably sound a whole lot like the low staticy buzz she has heard in her head her entire life. She'd probably think the damn thing was broken. Screw you mom, this hearing aid blows. This got me thinking. What would I want to hear for the first time if I have never heard before? Snow.

Leo and Willie

2004-12-20T20:56:00.000-05:00

My cousin, Leo Stokes, played with Willie Nelson this weekend. ROCK.

4 Dudes + 3 Thirty Packs = Hilarity

2004-12-20T20:33:00.000-05:00

I had a hell of a weekend. There is just too many things to talk about all of which I don't feel like typing. I'll just sum it up with a couple highlights.

I got my credit card denied at a ruby tuesdays in hackettstown, NJ

my brother upon meeting his ex-girlfriend who he spent his entire highschool career with greeted her by spilling red wine on the white sweater that her current boyfriend bought her. ex girlfriend cried.

my friend james is 6'2" 210lbs and im 5'9" 140lbs. I beat him arm wrestling 3 out of 4 times and pinned him 4 times in the front lawn in a full contact wrestling match. later on sunday I took all of his money playing hold em.

james asked my brother to punch him in the head. my brother oblidged and james woke with a gigantic bruise above his eye.

my brother tore down a white picket fence that was clearly constructed to hold in the family dog. he then threw up in a plastic bag and got in his car to go to the quickcheck to find food. ex girlfriend cried.

I woke up sunday morning and took three shits. and that was before we ordered 16 dollars worth of all beef gordita supremes.

my throw up was delicous, i had just had a big glass of chocolate milk.

10 minutes after we leave hackettstown the girl that james was staying with kicked him out so we turned around and picked him back up.

getting home to new brunswick we promptly started drinking again.

after coming home and playing holdem to 3am my brother passes out on the floor with blood and tabacco dip on his shirt.

2.5 hours later i woke everyone up and half of us went to catch planes while half of us went to work.

oh yea, its really really effing cold out. Work was fun today.

Random Stuff

2004-12-17T13:49:00.000-05:00

I was in the mall last night, and I walked through the front door of Macy's to see that they have hired a security guard for the Holiday season. This guy was roughly my age or younger, was wearing a bright red sports jacked that was 3 sizes to big, weighed in at a max of 140 pounds, and stood 5'8"-ish with long black hair pulled into a ponytail. In otherwords, he wasn't the most intimidating security guard I've ever seen. Here's the catch though, he was Asian. I'm not one to racially profile (by that I mean I am) but I think it's pretty safe to say that this kid must be trained in some sort of martial art. How else could he possible be qualified for that position. Moral of the story: all Asians are ninjas. In other news, today is the office Christmas party and in the spirit of the holidays we usually send out an email/card to our clients. Its sort of a fun joke/game kind of thing. This year we made a flash snowball game. It's not quite done yet but its playable so I figured I'd give you guys a sneak peak. You can check it out here. I'm in the "Night Vision" level. Extra points if you can guess which one I am :)

The Adventure That is iPOD

2004-12-13T23:19:00.000-05:00

After nearly a week of waiting I finally get an email from the USPS that my iPOD had arrived (i had it delivered to my office) on Saturday. Knowing full well that the post office shouldn't be delivering to my office on Saturday I was a bit wary walking in on Monday morning as I looked for the package. As to be expected, it wasn't there. So I gathered some ID and took myself down to the local post office to pick it up. I get to the counter and I can tell pretty much immediatly that this is going to be a problem. Behind the counter is a middle aged, shaggy, african american, ultra pissed off woman who hates her job and her life. I describe my circumstance to her and she asks for my ID. I hand her my drivers license. She gives it a quick once over and asks for something else. I give her my passport. After saying 'no problem' she walks back into the store room (where I can see her) and kinda stutters around for about 7 seconds before coming back to the counter to tell me she can't find any package with my name and that it hadn't arrived yet. So I produce the delivery comfirmation printed from usps.com and send her back. She is pissed now. This time she goes out of sight and stays out of sight for a good 3 or 4 minutes. She comes back with the package in her hand. This is where the fun starts. She explains that she cannot turn the package over to me because it was marked as a failed delivery. I calmly explain "of course it was a failed delivery, you tried to deliver it on Saturday which you are not supposed to do." Obviously, I'm not getting this package. The woman ssays that I will have to wait 10 days until it is returned to sender, and then have the sender resend it. Fun huh. I leave and go back to work. And I'm pissed. Really pissed. A couple hours go by and guess what shows up at my desk. I guess the mail carrier himself grabbed the package and attempted a redeliver. Score one for Patrick! I get home around 6 and by 7 I'm pounding mp3's onto this thing. 11pm rolls around and I've been at this for some 4 hours and iTunes crashes. What do you think the chances are that it managed to sync the mp3's before it crashed? Thats right, 0. I spent 4 hours organizing and adding mp3's and none of it worked. Anyone want a free iPod for christmas because I hate mine.

New Jersey Has the Best Heroin in the World

2004-12-13T16:55:00.000-05:00

As a long time native of New Jersey and 'Jerseystyle' blogger it would be just plain irresponsible of me not to blog about the lastest results from the World Heroin Purity Championships seen on ESPN 8 (the ocho) last night.

Federal Drug Enforcement Agency tests of heroin samples obtained from New Jersey streets showed 71.4 percent purity in 2002, nearly twice the national average. "You can't buy any better heroin in the world than you can buy in New Jersey," said Michael Pasterchick, special agent in charge of the Newark DEA office.

Wow, what a honor this is. Finally New Jersey is getting recognized for all its hard work in the crazy game that is drug trafficking. We are the NY Yankees of drugs. How do we do it? We just go to the source baby and hire the most drugged out dealers we can find. The ones that know where to find the good stuff. The ones that will go into the Hall of Fame of drug trafficking for destroying Hank Aarons...er..nevermind.

The new heroin is pure enough to be snorted or smoked, which makes it more attractive to younger people.

Eggggcelent.

You Can't Make This Shit Up

2004-12-12T01:03:00.000-05:00

This is totaly, amazing. Read the article if you like, or just go by by brief description here. In short, the following events all happened on the same day, at the same event.... a Kite Flying Expo.

An 18-month-old girl's throat was cut by a stray kite string while she was travelling with her parents on a motorbike, witnesses said, adding that she died on the spot.

wow...

Three people were electrocuted when metal wires they were using to fly or catch stray kites fell on live electric lines, and two people fell from roofs, hospital officials said.

jesus...

A 12-year-old boy died while trying to catch a stray kite when he was hit by a car on a main road, police said.

christ...

One child was injured by a stray bullet," deputy medical superintendent Dr Saqib Shafi told AFP. Though firing guns is banned, people celebrate the spring festival by firing into the air, often causing casualties.

That's crazy stuff. The worst part is the kicker, the end of the article.

Casualties and frequent power outages caused by metal wires falling over power lines forced the government to ban the sale of kites and metal wire, but those restrictions were lifted this month to celebrate the festival, officials said.

What in the....

2004-12-10T10:07:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen a clown kiss the Pope?

Now you have.

Coming Home

2004-12-09T11:25:00.000-05:00

For most people, the best part of the day is when work is over and they head home. For me, this is the worst part of my day. When I get home I first have to fumble around in the dark to sort through the 900 pieces of mail that we get each day for people who don't live in our house. I find the pieces that belond to us, and head upstairs. As of right now, I seem to be the only person who ever thinks to bother checking the mail. Then, I open my front door and am without fail greeted with the smell of pot coming from the bedroom to my immediate left. Some may think this is great, but for me this means having to fend off the inevitable request "hey man, wanna smoke?" that comes every single day. It's not that I have a problem with people who smoke, I don't. I just don't smoke myself, and don't want to be bothered with requests to do so. So I hand the kid who smokes his mail and then continue on down the hallway. At the end of the hallway is our living room. It is here that everything just goes awful for me. My second roommate will be found on the couch watching 1 of only 3 channels. I'm actually fairly convinced that she is completely unaware that we have hundreds of other channels. These three channels are VH1, MTV, or MTV2. This leaves me with basically three choices of viewing material, Any given top 100 list, TRL, or Various Rap/Hip-Hop videos. My choices do not stray because these are the only three channels in the rotation for said roommate. As I sense a commercial coming my brain takes a deep breath of relief before the horror of roommate changing the channel to avoid commercials and fill the gap with another channel full of the same crap. What do I want to watch when I come home from a day of work? I generally want to watch either a humorous sitcom such as That 70's Show or a couple days a week, the news. I like to keep up on current events. I consider myself what Hugh Hewitt calls a 'high information' person. Unfortunately, sometimes during the day I don't have enough time to browse the online medias, so I like to catchup at home, in my living room, on my TV. Essentially, this is just a battle for the remote. By, now I'm hungry and this is bad because I have been ultra lazy lately when it comes to food shopping. I pass the supermarket every day on my way home from work, but fuck it, I also pass McDonalds, Quiznos, Taco Bell, Burger King, various pizza joints, and soon Wendy's. So I sit down and unwrap whatever fast food it happened to be that I bought on my way home. From here I retire to my room for an hour or two to wait out the time needed to take control of the remote. I spend this time generally working on stuff that I should be getting paid for at work. So that's my night. It's important to note that I don't have any ill feelings towards the people in my house at all. Its just, I like to do things my way, and damnit, living with people doesn't really make that possible. So in the meantime, I'll just keep turning down the pot and keep making wise ass comments about roommates TV watching habits and the future effectiveness of her brain :)

Signs That You are Doing A Good Job

2004-12-09T11:08:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling pretty good right now, so forgive my little self-proclomation post here. I've been working my ass off on this one project for the last month or so and it's really coming togethor. The client is huge, and I'm the only developer currently assigned to the job. That means that as well as having alot of work, I'm also getting invited to quite a few meetings with the higher ups, or as I like to call them, the people who I should be impressing. I just got out of an early morning meeting meant to discuss what I've been working on. It went great. So great that half way through the meeting as we all stepped out to take a piss/caffiene break, the President of the client company took me aside and asked me if I wanted to get a beer over the weekend and discuss what I would need to come work directly for him. In other news, today is Taco Bell day here in the office and Taco Bell day kicks alot of ass. It's nto even noon yet, and my day is going great!

Bitch

2004-12-08T08:58:00.000-05:00

Mother Nature is officially on crack. Monday and Tuesday it was roughly 30 degrees and it poured non stop. Last night it thunderstormed, lightning and all, in December. This morning (Wednesday) it is sunny as can be and probably in the upper 50's. When I die at the ripe old age of 43, I'm going to kick that inconsistant bitches ass.

Pimpmaster Pat

2004-12-06T20:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what happened exactly. But somewhere along the way Jerseystyle turned into a pimp. You can just call me Pimp Patrick, or PP for short. Heh, PP. So I have this friend. In the interest of preserving anonymity we'll call her Alicia. Alicia and I have been friends for a very long time. We went through elementary and highschool togethor. We speak every day and know eachother probably as well as any close friends do. I'm not sure though why she came to me for this, but hey, I don't question such things. Alicia is a twenty something living in NYC. She lives in a kickbutt apartment in downtown Manhattan. She works in what I suppose is the "event planning" industry and spends her days talking with the rich and famous. Alicia spends her time outside of working doing what any normal NYC chick does; going to shows, going to bars, walking in the park, saving trees, reciting poetry, and rallying for basic human rights for animals. NOTE:it's important to realize that the above is simply my impression of what a normal NYC chick does in her spare time. I may or may not be completely accurate on all of those details. I'm not wrong often though, so keep that in mind :) Alicia is college educated from a local NYC college which we'll call NYU. She's incredibly smart and great fun to spend time with. Alicia is hot. She has all the things most guys look for; long clean great smelling hair, big boobies, a tiny waste, and incredibly long legs that would make a giraffe jealous (they arent hairy and spotted though). There's something for everyone in this package! I'm not entirely sure why Alicia came to me. However she wanted me to post something along these lines on this site so I suppose it is safe to assume that she is looking to meet some more people to spend time with in NY after work and on the weekends. So lets do it like this: If you are a dude, who wants to get with a chick with big boobies then send me an email and I'll be sure to completely ignore it (I am her friend after all). If you are a chick who is in a similiar boat and could use some more friends then send me an email and I'll be happy to send along your information (but not before attempting to flirt with you myself) to Alicia. If you are a nice normal guy who wouldn't mind spending time with someone whom I consider to be a beautiful, intelligent, great girl then send me an email and I'll be happy to send along your information to Alicia.

P.S. She's on the right in all three pictures.

Those Crazy Pacers

2004-11-23T13:14:00.000-05:00

This is a really good read. It kind of puts the whole incident into some kind of context. What an incident it was too. Incredible.

A Marine and His Rifle...and a Terrorist

2004-11-16T20:55:00.000-05:00

Dead Terrorist. Make your own judgement.

A God Damned Effing Honour Guard!

2004-11-11T17:37:00.000-05:00

I wish I knew what it was like to think like a French once in a while. They must be the most carefree people on earth. To live at the level of cowardice that they represent is truely mind boggling. Something big and bad comes their way, and they just lay down. With the exception of the United States of course. Given the opportunity to piss off the United States, they always do just that. Today Arafat died. Again. He's been sorta dead, mostly dead, not dead at all, brain dead, and very much alive for several days now. Today however he is all dead as we saw in the carrying of his coffin and the week out-dated admission from the PLO of his death. So Arafat is dead. A man who openly funded terror networks is now no longer with us. A criminal is dead. A murder is dead. How does France react? They carry his coffin with a god damned honour guard. While our young men are off in Falluja trying to dismantle various terror/insurgence cells the French youg men are honouring the death of the leader of such a cell. Today a proven murderer died, and France awarded him the highest honour upon his death. My only consolation is knowing that one day Chirac will meet his friend Arafat in hell.

When Will They Learn

2004-11-10T13:58:00.000-05:00

Madonna is apparantly pissed off about our troops being in Iraq.

"I just don't want American troops to be in Iraq, period. My feelings are, can we just all get out?"

This coming from a pop-superstar who lives in London, fakes a British accent and studies an ancient Hebrew way of life called Kaballah. Good thing we have Madonna around to speak for us normal folk. She really relates to the rest of us.

"Global terror is in California. There's global terror everywhere..."

Guess what babe, "everywhere" includes Iraq. The fact that this is even news (reported by the AP) is just appalling to me. I'm probably at fault just as much for reading the story and caring enough to blog it.

Jesusland

2004-11-08T21:43:00.000-05:00

I've taken some time off and done quite a bit of reading. I've tried to take in as much reactions regarding the recent elections as possible. While I expected a violent outpouring of emotions from the left after Kerry's defeat, I never anticipated what seems to be the overall theme reactions. The left seems to be lumping all of the right into a giant evangelical category. Jesusland. The elections have shown that the country is actually much more religious-conservative minded than we thought, or at least more than the democratic campaign anticipated. Bush got the christian vote, and it was a big one. However, the left is using this to try to push a stereotype of blind religious decision making on the part of the south and midwest nation. Apparantly, only the north east and west coast have their heads screwed on straight. Some have said that NYC is just an island off the coast of Europe. Well, some of this is true. Certainly the north east and west coast are vastly different politically then the rest of the nation. Their politics are much closer to those of established European nations. This in no way makes the rest of the US blind though. I am going to use myself as an example. I voted the way of the majority of the country and so I feel that they may have similar inclinations to my own, but I will try not to make any generalisations in this. I voted republican for many reasons, including the war on Iraq which I won't go into. It's been exhausted. I voted republican because I think marriage should be between a man and a woman. Can two men love eachother? Of course. Should they be allowed the same financial securities that a married couple has? Sure. I can handle civil unions. I voted republican because I don't believe that we should have universal health care. Do I have health insurance? No. Why not? It's too damn expensive. How do I plan on solving that? I'll get a job and pay my dues until I am eligible for a health plan through said job. Federally funded health coverage is a rediculously expensive undertaking that ultimately will only degrade our healthcare which at the moment, is the best in the world. I voted republican because I believe our military needs to be funded as much as is fiscally responsible for our country. We have an all volunteer military that no longer relies on numbers to win its wars. We now rely on technology, intelligence, mobility, and versatility. All of these things cost an incredible amount of money, Money that is spent to save American lives. Money that is spent to make sure we have the most lethal military in the world, regardless of being outnumbered by massive amounts of manpower in most situations. I voted republican because I do not believe the government should be funding stem cell research. I waiver a bit here though. I do believe stem cell research should be done, but it should be done at the private sector. Stem cell research has both ethical and moral issues concerning it. Let the private sector fund it. But lets not ban it. I voted republican because I believe in the nature of pre-emptive strikes. I do not buy into the "wait for them to do something to us" doctrine. My parents taught me a very important lession in my later years. "Waiting won't make it go away." Lastly, I voted republican because George W. Bush has similar moral, ethical, political, and religious inclinations as myself. John Kerry has similar moral, ethical, political, and religous inclinations as whatever the polls tell him he should. Bush is unpopular with roughly 50% of the population of the United States. He knows it. Everyone knows it. Yet he sticks by his convictions and his decisions. If that is what being a resident of Jesusland requires, then where do I buy my ticket?

Yassar No Mas

2004-11-04T19:44:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting at work today and Josh, the kid who sits near me, yells out "Yassar Arafat just died." Awesome, one less terror funding ugly ass old muslim to worry about. Later in the day Josh yells out again "woops I was wrong, or at least Israel was wrong, it turns out Yassar Arafat isn't dead, he's just brain dead." Well ok, so he'll die soon, and then there will be one less terror funding ugly ass old muslim to worry about. As I get home this afternoon I find that he's not dead, nor is he brain dead. At least that's what Palestinean 'officials' are saying. A general rule of thumb is to not trust Palestinian officials. But, the AP is reporting it so it's probably mostly true. Bottom line though, if people are arguing about wether you are dead, or just mostly dead, things probably aren't looking top good for you.

Its Over

2004-11-03T11:29:00.000-05:00

It's Over. Phew.

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2004-11-01T16:56:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time coming. Nearly an interview a week for a very very long time. All the rejections, the letters, the phone calls, it all brought me down for the last 2 years or so. It's all different now. Some sorry sap finally decided to hire me. I have a job, with a company that seems great, writing code in a language that I excell at, and to top it off, its literally right down the road from my apartment. I'm going to put alot of pressure on myself with this. I am going to take it as a life changing opportunity. Some may call that a bad idea, but I know what I need. I need a nice swift kick in my lazy flabby ass to get me back in shape. A 9-5 job is perfect for that. I'm going to meet some new people, I'm going to start being myself again. I can't wait. Update: I just found 20 bucks in an old suitcase. My day just keeps getting better!

Where's Patrick?

2004-10-27T15:25:00.000-04:00

...just haven't gotten around to writing anything meaninful in the last couple days. Sorta been getting some shit togethor. I'll be back with regular updates very shortly. Hopefully as early as tommorow.

Thanks

2004-10-23T03:25:00.000-04:00

Quite a few of you sent emails trying to encourage me. One of you commented. One of you even called. Thank you for that, I appriciate that you guys care enough to bother. I'll get back to some more political essays next week. In the meantime, I've got a big weekend of generally feeling sorry for myself lined up. Ciao.

This Kind of Post Won't Happen Often -- I Promise.

2004-10-22T01:29:00.000-04:00

I had a really rough week. I suppose most of that is due to the wallet-emptying nights lasting until 3am at the bars. Damn Yankees. Damn 7 games. Damn inability to watch baseball playoff games without drinking...heavily. I've been drunk for the last 5 days. Today, my first sober day was spent vomiting (or trying to). I haven't eaten, I haven't slept, and my body is punishing me. I definatly deserve it. The biggest problem I have with extended periods of drinking is that unfortunately, I seem to think clearest when drunk. I certainly don't function clearest, but I do think clearer. Any normal day to day distractions get left behind. I can do nothing but sit at the bar with my Budweiser in hand and think. The thinking doesn't dull or go away. It just races. My brain tries to focus on one topic and when it does, it hounds that topic. It explores every possible nook and cranny of that topic. People come up to me and try to talk to me and I reply with snippy remarks because they are distracting me from more thinking. I get caught going 20 minutes at a time without blinking, speaking, looking. The only movement is my hand from the bar to the glass to my mouth. It's got to be a huge turn off for anyone who happens to look my way. Ultimately, I go home alone, poor, and blacked out, but still thinking. I may fall asleep but I'll wake up 5 minutes later and every 5 minutes around the clock until the sun comes up, the buzz goes away, and I'm left with a knotted stomach, blood on my teeth from dehydrated cracked lips, and a room that stinks of cigarettes, beer, and whatever I tried to eat before passing out. I wake up thinking. I take a shower and think. I check my email and my phone and am humiliated when I realize what I wrote and who I called and what I said. The thinking, the humiliation, the smell, the fact that I didn't have one single conversation with anyone but myself the night before, the pain in my stomach, it all reminds me of what I'm thinking. It reminds me how much I don't like myself. It reminds me I don't know how to talk to people. I feel uncomfortable. I don't like shaking hands. I don't like the pecks on the cheeks or the hugs. I don't like the small talk. I especially don't know how to talk to girls. I go through introductions and forget names 1 second later. Not because I'm forgetful, but rather because I don't give a shit what their names are. In the end I wind up talking to only one person. I only feel right talking to one person. The only problem is the one person is myself. I wish he would just shut the fuck up. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of talking to myself. Goodnight.

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

2004-10-21T02:19:00.000-04:00

Wow. That's all I have to say is wow. I was on the losing end, but what I saw today was the greatest thing I've ever seen in sports. I'll forever remember where I was on this day. WOW

Slow Day

2004-10-20T11:07:00.000-04:00

Don't expect much from me today. I'm in a suit and getting ready to drive to Hoboken for an interview. Hopefully I can once again become a functioning member of society. I do want to say one thing though. Even if Curt Schilling only pitched one game in his entire career, and that game was the game last night, he would still deserve and automatic bid to the Hall of Fame. What a job that guy did last night, Jesus. ...I wish I was still sleeping.

Damn Borders

2004-10-19T01:59:00.000-04:00

So I'm browsing around Borders on Saturday afternoon as usual. This time though I noticed something rather unusual. In the front section where they put all the new and best selling books I found that any book supporting the right wing agenda, or putting down Kerry was turned around. Like, someone walked in and turned the faces of the books around so they could not be seen. I found it a sort of silly protest and proceeded to reposition the books as they are meant to be. I then found that this wasn't all that isolated. As I continued to browse I saw that every bloody book in the entire store that even remotely had something to do with supporting conservatives was turned. It spread far and wide, even into the Christian section where books on abortion were turned. After about an hour of scouring the store and reversing the protest I finally picked out what I was looking for. This guy made quite the effort as this book was also turned around despite its location in the "Business Life" section of the store. I went to the counter with my new copy of Hugh Hewitt's book 'In, But Not Of, A Guide To Christian Ambition And The Desire To Influence The World,' and paid for my book. After being rung up I asked to speak to the manager. The manager, a young man roughly 30 years old, met me at the front desk and I told him that I took the courtesy of fixing the shelves of his store for him. He asked me what I meant and I explained my afternoon to him. After listening to my story the manager scolded me and explained that the books were positioned that way for a reason. What was the reason you might ask? I thought the same and asked him. He replied (word for word), "because I love my country and I don't think that our customers should be exposed to the lies of ultra-conservative authors. I am required to display those books on the shelves of this store, but I am not required to face them forward." I thanked the manager for his time, and reluctantly removed the reciet from my bag and walked back to the cashier to return my book. I did this reluctantly because I love Borders. They have a massive selection, as well as an absolutely incredible music section that has a huge artist back catalogue. I know that silly manager was just doing something silly and that my refusing to buy from Borders again is just as silly. But hell, I had to do something. I got in my car and drove down the street to Barnes and Noble. While, their selection of conservative authors is much smaller, at least the books were positioned properly. As expected though they did not have the book that I wanted and I was forced to order it online. I hate ordering things online. I've since written a letter to Borders corporate. I'm sure it will just be giggled at.

Monday Links

2004-10-18T14:31:00.000-04:00

As I expected my man Jay at 'News From Baghdad' had something to say about the group of soldiers who refused to do their mission because it was too dangerous. Here's a snippet:

No discipline, cowardice and mutiny were to blame here. Yesterday the article stated that this unit had no "armed escort". Well excuse me SOLDIER! Do YOU have a rifle? Do YOU have a machine gun mounted on your trucks? Well that is all any one else has so therefore YOU are your OWN armed escort.

Ray Boone died Sunday. For those that don't know who he was, check out the article. One of baseball's great fathers.

Fausto at Bad Hair Blog gave a nice Sunday morning take on McGreevy. Lots of good links in there for Jersey residents.

Christ, even the nerds from Sweeden are hot.

Finally, what can you expect to see from Jerseystyle this week? I'm thinking about a couple ramblings and stories from the life of someone very important to me...mainly me. In otherwords, I'm going to try and stay away from Election '04 this week. We'll see.

Ooompf!

2004-10-16T09:08:00.000-04:00

Heh Heh.

Mary Cheney Fiasco

2004-10-15T17:16:00.000-04:00

When I sit and think about this whole mess the Kerry and Edwards camp have spun it just gets more and more complicated. Many people believe that the use of Mary by both Edwards and then Kerry were no coincidence. Some have even called it a calculated effort. I just don't buy this. Here's why. These people are running for president. That means they have a whole team of people behind them as well as a whole bunch of money behind them. It seems just completely unfathomable to me that this team of people wouldn't realize the danger in bringing up Mary. Even more unfathomable is that they did realize the danger and decided that the risk was worth it. If that was the case, then what reward were the hoping for? Were they hoping that people would actually make the enourmous leap that Dick Cheney doesn't love his daughter and therefore is a bad person. That Cheney is running with Bush and therefore Bush is a bad person? That Cheney/Edwards don't support their own families? I doubt it. This is such a leap for me. One that I doubt any educated political strategist would believe the American people could make. So how could they advise both Kerry and Edwards to bring up Mary? Well, simply put, I don't think they did. Maybe I am giving the Kerry/Edwards camp too much credit here, but I don't believe they are that stupid. I do however believe that they are just stupid enough to do it on accident. I think they are also just stupid enough not to apologize. These guys have really dug themselves deep right now. Granted, while is an unwritten rule itt is still, if perhaps not the best, unwritten rule. Keep the opponents families out of the election. Especially children. Children are not to be touched. Kerry and Edwards ignored the rule. The fact that they are using it in the first place says volumes about the Kerry/Edwards campaign. You are running against one of the most unpopular presidents of all time, and you are starting to lose ground. Oh jeez, what can you do? Better bring up the Vice Presidents lesbian daughter. Why won't they apologize? Simple, it won't help. The damage is done. I almost wish I was voting for Kerry, just so I could change my mind now and vote for Bush. It's that bad.

Slow Friday

2004-10-15T13:10:00.000-04:00

Check out Blogspirator's latest blog about his own and others troubles with their support of Bush. While some instances are just annoying, some are downright dangerous. Once again Victor Davis Hanson reads my mind and says what I wanted to say, only more articurately. Here's a bit to wet your tongue:

The artists, musicians, and entertainers have also railed against the war. In the therapeutic mindset, the refinement and talent of a Sean Penn, Michael Moore, Al Franken, Bruce Springsteen, or John Fogerty earn respect when they weigh in on matters of state policy. But in the tragic view, they can be little more than puppets of inspiration. Their natural gifts are not necessarily enriched by real education or learning. Indeed, they are just as likely to be high-school or college dropouts and near illiterates, albeit with good memories, voices, and looks.

I just looked out my window at the intersection on the corner of my street. There are 3 Rutgers sorority girls panhandling the cars as they stop at the red light. Awesome, gotta go :) Oh by the way, this is funny as hell:

France Just Plain Sucks

2004-10-14T05:44:00.000-04:00

Check out this great article about 21 year old Jennifer Locke, a republican living in Paris. Among other things, it gets some input from some of her peers at the American School of Paris. Here's my favorite:

Liz Mott, 20, an American born in Paris, said she watched the first debate and felt a deep sense that another four years of Bush would endanger the world to a greater degree. "Everything Bush said was stupid," she put it.

Oh... I get it now. It all makes perfect sense. "Everything Bush said was stupid." Phew, good thing I have clear-thinking 20 year olds like you working it out for me. Thanks Liz. Also, I did some searching and as far as I (by "I" I mean google) can tell Jennifer does not keep a blog. Can anyone find anything different? I'd love to read her blog.

The Hunt

2004-10-14T02:22:00.000-04:00

This just begs to be blogged about before I head off to bed. On Sat. October 23, I'll be attending my first bachelor party. I'm more than a little bit excited about this. Here's the email I just got finalizing the plans...

Almost all of the final plans for Joey's bachelor party are set for THE HUNT. At this point in time we have 27 guys confirmed and still waiting to hear from a few more. Listed below are some of the details. Leaving Time: 8:30 AM SHARP DO NOT BE LATE...come early Transportation: 28 passenger luxury bus, has TV/DVD player, bathrooms, we can drink on bus Food: I have had our tailgate catered...there will be 2 - 6 foot hero's, fried chicken platter, appetizer platters and chips waiting at our tailgate....along with 400lbs of ice to keep the beer we bring cold. Extras: We will bring in our own beer, which I will provide. There will be water on the bus for the ride home. We will have the bus drop us off at a local bar back at the shore....to be determined. We should arrive back at the shore around 7pm. It may be muddy so dress appropriately. Rain or shine we party

For those not familiar with the Hunt, I found this little gem:

The Hunt may appear to be about an afternoon of foliage, friends, hay, horses, Corona and Cabernet, but most in attendance don’t even get a glimpse of the track or are even aware a race is actually happening. This day isn’t about society or sport, but rather to serve as an anecdote for two people to tell their future grandkids that they didn’t meet at a bar or beach house, but while discussing Iraq and wine tasting at The Hunt. Based on observations from past experience here, it appears all involved that aren’t "involved" are on the prowl for future companionship. Call it the Mission For a Winter of Missionary.... The HFBO invariably begins at 9:30 AM. Buses and trains stocked with Mimosas and Irish Coffee leave from Hoboken train station and its adjacent parking lot. After a 40-minute ride to Far Hills and a 30-minute wait in traffic to get near the farm, the festivities begin approx. at 11 AM when most are already 3 cocktails into their day before disembarking.

Still not sure what it is? It's a horse race. A big beautiful horse race. If all goes as we hope it does, we wont even see a single horse. I love being young

Bleh

2004-10-13T15:09:00.000-04:00

At work all day today, so no real updates. I hope to get a small review of the final debate up later tonite though. See you then.

A Slightly Better Investigation

2004-10-12T18:01:00.000-04:00

Last week in my post "October Should Be Better Than This," I sat down with the intent to examine the reasons for the growing intensity between Bush and Kerry supporters. I had planned on citing several reasons and specific instances. In the end, it came of as just another rambling blog of your author whining and complaining about people not liking him. Sorry about that. That post did get me some new readers however, and even a couple emails and links/quotes on other blogs. I thank you all for that. Feedback drives me! One email (thanks Matt) suggested that I check out Victor Davis Hanson's 4 part essay on exactly what was supposed to be the content of my original post. This is definatly worth a read. It says everything, albeit very longwindedly, that I wanted to say. Check it out. 'The Perfect Storm Of Hating Bush' Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four Here's a small quote to get you started:

"So the current conflict against terror is the perfect postmodern storm, drawing into its whirl all the pathologies of the last thirty years to unleash a vehemence not experienced in recent political memory. The horror of 9-11, the public fatwas of Osama bin Laden, and Saddam’s prior crimes against humanity are merely problematic. Instead, we see a powerful United States, bullying indigenous people sitting atop oil resources in the Middle East, and bombing the long-suffering victims of colonialism and Zionism. The powerless men in robes and with crude RPGs say it all—not their videos of heads rolling, not their suicide bombs studded with scrap metal, not their targeted assassinations of Iraqi women reformers. In this war our current enemies are not white men in suits of the nation state like a Hitler, Brezhnev, or Milosevic who orate from the balcony and threaten us with goose-stepping soldiers, but rather self-acclaimed wannabee resistance fighters of the Third World, who understand well how to play on contemporary Western therapeutic culture by claiming victim status and counting our own inability to discern right from wrong."

Enjoy.

Those Pesky Gamblers, Hookers, and Suicide Bombers

2004-10-12T02:57:00.000-04:00

Pick one of the following pictures that really bothers you the most as an American. Which ones just really get to the core of your being and makes you want to shout? More importantly, which ones would you consider a nuisance, and which ones would you consider a REALLY BIG PROBLEM?

John Kerry thinks they are all equally annoying. I'm just totally blown away by Kerry's retarded statement in the NY Times Magazine this Sunday. I'm so blown away that I spent a day or two just running it through my head trying to figure out what he was thinking. Here's (via: NYT) what he said:

"We have to get back to the place we were, where terrorists are not the focus of our lives, but they're a nuisance. As a former law-enforcement person, I know we're never going to end prostitution. We're never going to end illegal gambling. But we're going to reduce it, organized crime, to a level where it isn't on the rise. It isn't threatening people's lives every day, and fundamentally, it's something that you continue to fight, but it's not threatening the fabric of your life."

Obviously I know what he means. He doesn't mean to equate these things (gambling, prostitution, terrorism, and gambling) but that is essentially what he is doing. He wants to bring us back to a point where terrorism is no longer an issue. I can respect that, that is essentially what my candidate wants to do as well. The difference is that Bush understands that disarming, pulling out, and kissing ass to France is not the way to do that. I could go on, but I'll just ramble. The whole quote makes me upset. Really upset. Luckily Lileks did the thinking for me:

We have to get back to the place we were. But when we were there we were blind. When we were there we losing. When we were there we died. We have to get back to the place we were. We have to get back to 9/10? We have to get back to the place we were. So we can go through it all again? We have to get back to the place we were. And forget all we’ve learned and done? We have to get back to the place we were. No. I don’t want to go back there. Planes into towers. That changed the terms. I am remarkably disinterested in returning to a place where such things are unimaginable. Where our nighmares are their dreams. We have to get back to the place we were. No. We have to go the place where they are.

Last Tuesday Jeff Tweedy told me that I should get some therapy because I plan on voting for Bush. It's just unbelievable to me that people want a president who believes inaction is the best way to win this war. It's unbelievable to me that people think I need therapy. This whole damn election is unbelievable.

Escort + ICQ + NY

2004-10-11T20:19:00.000-04:00

Someone just went to google and searched for "escort icq ny." He then went 11 pages of results deep and found Jerseystyle listed. I guess he figured he didn't find what he was looking for on the first 10 pages worth of results, so my site was still worth a shot. Awesome. See for yourself

Monday's Links

2004-10-11T16:52:00.000-04:00

There is a new military blog out there, this one coming straight from a US Soldier in Baghdad. I've read other military blogs but this one seems to be a little different. It is honest. Honest to the point where it seems like you know this guy. Here's a quote from his latest blog:

Today we had a major operation, of course location and other intelligence I cannot divulge, however, suffice it to say that my day started at 2:30 this morning, and it is now nearly 7:00 at the time that I am writing this. We did find quite a few weapons and were able to get many of them off the streets. My feet have not been this sore in a long long time. Well, while we were out there going house to house, one of our medics was approached by one of our Battle Captains. The Captain asked this young Specialist where our First Sergeant was. The Specialist replied "I don't know, sir". The Captain then asked him where our Company Commander was. Again the Specialist replied, "I don't know, sir". The Captain began to berate the Specialist with, "That's not very good situational awareness now is it troop?". The Specialist calmly replied to the Captain, "Well, sir, you don't know where they are either". Needless to say, that will be the talk of the Platoon for quite some time.

Check him out at News From Baghdad. Christopher Reeve died last night. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I actually think I feel selfish that the only thing I'll remember him for was his incredible role as Superman. But screw it, that's probably how his family would want him remembered. Team 3D from the US won the World Cyber Game Championship this weekend defeating The Titans of Denmark from...Denmark. Something is running around the Congo killing lions. As if that statement wasn't scary enough, scientists seem to think that this may be a new type of Ape.

"We could hear them in the trees, about 20 feet away," she said. "My tracker made a sound of an injured duiker [antelope] and four came rushing through the brush towards me. If this had been a bluff charge, they would have been screaming to intimidate us. These guys were quiet. And they were huge. They were coming in for the kill. I was directly in front of them, and as soon as they saw my face, they stopped and disappeared."

That sounds like jumping into the water with a bunch of great whites and slitting your calf open.

PLAN PLAN PLAN

2004-10-11T02:54:00.000-04:00

My favorite comic yet from Cox and Forkum. Pretty much sums up the different ideologies between Bush and Kerry.

October Is Looking Up

2004-10-10T16:42:00.000-04:00

I took my own advice this weekend. I tried my best to ignore politics. I did watch the debate, but I did so only by flipping to it between commercials during the Yankees game. Of course, I later watched the full "on-demand" version. Saturday night I stepped away from the computer and went out back home with a bunch of highschool friends to watch the Yankees game. I met up with a co-worker who you may remember from some of my earliest blogs as "the cute girl from work." We had a pretty good time. By 12:30 we left and I made my way back up Route 18 to home. I sit here now on Sunday rested, happy over a Giants victory this afternoon, and ready for a great week of Yankees/Red Sox games. While I certainly plan to throw up a couple more essays this week as usual, they may stray a bit in content. We'll see. In the meantime, I've got a steak marinating, potato soup on the stove, and my TV is ready for the Dodgers/Cardinals game. It looks to be a great Sunday night. I encourage you all to do the same. :) Catch you monday.

October Should Be Better Than This

2004-10-07T17:44:00.000-04:00

As November 2nd looms closer and closer, it seems the country is experiencing a rather disturbing phenomena. The debates are taking over top rating draws from the MLB Playoffs, violence is popping up all over the country at various campaign headquarters, colleges are becoming politic hotbeds, and polls are swinging from red to blue daily. In short, the country is probably in it's most partisan state that I have seen it ever in my short 24 years of life. The phenomena that we are experiencing is unfortunately one of incredible contempt for our peers supporting the opposing political party. For some reason Bush supporters are learning to hate Kerry supporters and vica versa. Evidence of this is visible in everyday environments like highschool and college classrooms, workplaces, the dinner table, the bar, the football stands, and the living room sofa. For me personally, this has been a very trying period of my life. While I am just coming into my own as an educated-conservative-young-adult, I keep finding myself in situations where I am left in the minority in terms of my natures and my politics. While I haven't yet lost any friends, there are definatly friends and collegues who I try my best to avoid conversation with like the plague. The reasons are in no way reflective of my attitude toward their beliefs or my own insecurities about the knowledge of my own, but rather an effort to keep my relationships intact. Nearly every aspect of my daily routine unfortunately involves being overwhelmed with young liberal minds that want nothing more than to instruct me in the errors of my ways. So far I have been able to deal with it. I have been able to avoid the drunken bar conversations. I have been able to stare off into space when [insert rockstar name] goes off on his tangent about Bush supporters needing therapy. I have ignored the emails from old college friends trying to change my mind. I am not sure how much longer I can bite my tongue. In the meantime as Nov. 2 approaches I remain worried that if my candidate should win, the pressures from my peers will not stop. The one thing about young people, and protesters, and people like Michael Moore is; they don't grow tired easily. I think for the most part I deal with the partisanism through this site and through reading others. Given the ability to write these essays and have even just a few people read them is enough of a release that it helps me to remain calm when I hear someone across the bar say something like "What are you some kind of Nazi? Only a Nazi asshole would vote for Bush!" People are going to lose friends over this election year. People are probably going to lose husbands and wives. People will be fired from their jobs. People will quit their jobs. People will be arrested. People will be kicked out of schools. People will call for recounts. I know this sounds silly, but my mind is made up and I think that is the case for most. Given that please allow me to make a suggestion. While November looms and October goes on lets forget about this for a couple weeks. Lets direct our attention to a real rivalry. One that gives us all good energy and one that actually encourages us to call our friends to brag. Instead of worrying about the elections, lets watch the inevitable Boston/New York American League Championship Series. Let's do something even more American than using our first amendment rights. Let's have a beer with our friends and watch a baseball game. It got us through September 11, 2001. It can get us through this. Come Nov. 2 go to the polls and cast your vote. In the meantime.....Go Yankees!!

Late

2004-10-06T01:58:00.000-04:00

It's about 2am. I just finished of a three day rally of concerts. I had some high and low points and I figured I have nothing better to do at 2am than to share them with you. Monday (Franz Ferdinand) - I couldn't have been more dissapointed with this show. It was really just a big waste of time. First of all, I was supposed to go last month, but got bumped due to some moron in the ticketing offices selling more tickets then available seats. The show was short. Franz has about 12 songs and they played roughly 12 songs. Nothing exciting, no energy. I don't blame the band though, I blame the venue. Franz should be playing in a medium to large bar, not Roseland. Roseland was way way way to big for them. The crowd did nothing to give off any energy and the band was roughly the same. All in all, a pretty poor show. Tuesday (The Avett Brothers + Regina Spektor, The Shoemakers Guild) - This was a fantastic night. First of all, I was only aware of The Shoemakers Guild (no link available) on the bill. The plan was to catch my buddy Liam (guitar/volcals) and be done with it. What a great act. I can sum it up in one sentance: They've got a dude who plays banjo....with a bow. I'm a HUGE Avett Brothers fan as well, and they made a special guest appearance last night which rocked. I can't even begin to explain the levels of talent that god shoved down the throats of these kids. If you have a chance, and an open mind (by that I mean get ready for some rocking alt-bluegrass) then please go give these guys a listen. You won't be disappointed. The night wrapped up with lots of drinking and ultimately crashing at a buddie's house. Wednesday (Wilco) - "Relax, we're going to walk in, take our seats, and the lights are going to dim and Tweedy is gunna start rocking." That's exactly what happened. The ONLY downer of this kickass show was the thousands of ASS PONIES who felt the need to sit down during the show. Not to even mention the KING ASS PONY HERSELF who kept tugging on our shirts to get us to sit down. Were we the only douche bags in the front of the venue standing up...you're damn right we were. This is a rock and roll show not fucking Les Miserable. Finally, at like the 7th song or something Tweedy looked around and thanked the small pockets of people who were standing. Then said "I don't want to tell you what to do...but I'm just saying... it would be cool if you were all standing." Take that! Oh one last thing. This is a message to anyone who thinks themself enough of a celebrity that they can influence young people. Please stop telling us who to vote for. Tell us to vote, and call it a day. Tweedy actually said "If you're going to vote for Bush, please do some research first and then reconsider." Riiiiiiiiight dude, you're telling us to do our research? Am I to assume that while your in your tour bus watching the band around you take lines off the fold out table that you get yourself a couple copies of government documents and go sit on the can and "research?" Again, just remind me to vote and call it a day.

Tuesday

2004-10-05T15:36:00.000-04:00

Sorry guys, not much happening from this end today. Working off a hangover from last night and getting ready for Wilco tonite at Radio City. Catch you all tommorow.

Monday's Links

2004-10-04T15:25:00.000-04:00

- The boys at SpaceShipOne received official confirmation today that their project has won the $10 Million Ansari X Prize. Congratulations to them - A USA Today Poll Shows Bush ahead 4-to-1 over John Kerry among active US Troops. While the numbers on this are pretty unscientific, the numbers are still numbers and the margin is large enough to draw some conclusions. - Bloggers are buzzing about reports that Kerry may have cheated during the first debate. I could care less about this. If he had some notes and it gave him a small advantage, who cares. Bush is the incumbant president, that alone is a pretty big advantage. It wasn't any substance that won Kerry the debate in the first place, it was the way he looked and spoke. These are pretty funny by the way: Kerry's Notes - Bush's Notes (links via: BadHairBlog) - Ever see a volcano erupt on the internet?

In Response to Hugh Hewitt's Virtual Symposium

2004-10-03T03:15:00.000-04:00

The issue of bunker buster bombs, and more specifically, Nuclear Bunker Busters (NBB's) is a much greater issue than the bomb(s) themselves. There are many arguements that can be made (mostly in physics) about the actual effectiveness of such a bomb. I won't get into any of these arguements because they do not add anything to this essay. The issue is not wether or not the bomb will work, or how much the bomb costs, or what treaty we may be skirting in order to develop this bomb. The issue is: do we have the right to create such a weapon? The short, and obvious answer to this is a resounding "yes." It has always been the position of the United States that we are a country that bases its military powers on the possibility of preemption. Mr. Kerry and Mr. Bush seem to have different opinions on what exactly preemption means. While Kerry did claim in the first Presidential debate that he, nor any other president will ever cede the American right to preemption, he also claimed in the same debate that before we can protect ourselves we must pass a Global Test. Preemption from where I sit, and from where I believe Bush to sit is that of being in a state of offensive. This extends beyond simply allowing our military to strike first should a situation arise. It extends to the game of psychological warfare. We have to let our enemies know that we have the ability to kill not only them, but their stockpiles of weapons. This comes across as very morbid and is what turns most self-proclaimed "peaceful" people away from the President. It is infact not morbid at all. The reason for this is the responsibility of America. While I believe we have the right to develop these new types of weapons I don't think anyone, republican or democrat, could argue the responsibility that comes with the development. When the new weapon is created, can we as a country feel that we are responsible enough to use it? John Kerry believes that we are not. During his June 1, 2004 speech in West Palm Beach, Florida, Mr. Kerry referred to the bunker buster bomb as a "weapon that we don't need." He went further to call it a weapon that "undermines our credibility in persuading other nations." If Kerry believes that having such a weapon undermines our credibility then one can easily assume that he believes these "other nations" would not trust us with such a weapon. Should you become president, I would expect you to act as responsibly as our past presidents have acted with our current nuclear weapons. Do we need these weapons? That is a difficult question to answer. Ultimately we probably don't. What we do need however is the tactical ability to prevent these rogue nations and rebels from believing that they can hide their leaders and more importantly their weapons in underground bunkers. We need the ability to make them believe that we have the ability to take those targets out with the push of a button from a plane above. Our current bunker busting bombs are somewhat effective to this end, but not as effective as Mr. Bush deems necessary. The development of a new weapon to add to powerful arsenal of the United States is not an irresponsible decision. The irresponsible decision is failing to follow in the footsteps of preemption that has made the American military the strongest in the world. The kind of preemption that falls into all categories of warfare, even that of psyching our enemies out. It scares me to think of the celebrations that will occur deep in these bunkers should Mr. Kerry be elected and the development of this weapon be taken off the table. Somewhere, deep underground in a desert near the mountains of northern Pakistan, a group of terrorists will step over their chemical weapons stash and give each other a high five without any worry of their party being busted. To answer the questions of this symposium: Did John Kerry make a blunder in denouncing Nuclear Bunker Busters? Yes, of course he did. However blunder is a pretty tame word. It was a mistake because he didn't accomplish anything with this remark except to get the right wingers buzzing about it, and in this case, blogging about it. The voters that the remark may have been aimed at were almost certainly voting for Mr. Kerry in the first place. Therefore, he broke what I believe to be the first rule of politics: If you don't need to say it, then for the love of god don't say it. That is a rule that Mr. Kerry seems to have a ton of problems with. Did the remark hurt his campaign? No, I don't think so. As I said above, it probably didn't swing any votes eitherway. Thanks for the questions Mr. Hewitt.

Proud

2004-10-03T01:48:00.000-04:00

Politically, it has always been rather difficult to live in New Jersey. Especially as a young adult. My contemporaries are largely liberal minded, and in the past, so have been my non-contemporaries. I can remember years ago, before I was able to vote, my father ran for a local public office on the republican ticket. In past years there was no republican even on the ticket, so this was exciting. I can remember the parties we had during the campaign. So few showed up that we could fit everyone on our front porch. My father eventually lost that race by an overwhelming margin. I started thinking about politics around the same time. Mostly because I wondered how my father could lose by such a large margin. My father is a great man. He was a Naval Academy graduate and an officer in the Navy. He has 4 children, a wife, and has always given back to his communities. It baffled me. I was too young at the time to understand it, but I figured it out sooner than later. New Jersey has always been a blue state. Right on down to the smallest municipalities the democrats are overwhelmingly in control. This is all begining to change though. New Jersey is starting to move a bit toward the conservative end of the spectrum. The polls, and the local elections over the last few years have shown this. So what happened? Why the sudden change? Here's my theories: 1. The Obvious 9/11 - Those planes flew right into our backyard. The majority of people who work in Manhattan do not live in Manhattan. They live in suburbs of Long Island and New Jersey. When the planes hit, we could watch it from our front porches as we looked to the north and dialed our fathers cell phones to see if they made it out. The plume of smoke was clearly visible and even 4 years later is still visible when voters line up to pull the lever on the voting machines. We want someone that is going to allow us some sort of satisfaction. UN Resolutions wont ever bring that satisfaction. 2. Pay to Play - People are starting to get tired of the long-standing and poorly kept secret of the pay-to-play policies that exist in the local governments. In short, to get a contract, permit, or even a drink of water in New Jersey you may have to give a little something to your local councilman first. Gov. McGreevey has addressed these issues to some degree (executive order 134) during his stay in the office due to the intense pressure from the locals, as well as several criminal indictments handed to certain members of his administration. It's too late though. People are tired of the corruption. 3. Property Taxes - New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the United States. Every year the numbers rise. Property Taxes are what drive our state. We pay for every mistake and every Gubernatorial trip to Ireland through our state property taxes. McGreevey did try to offer some assistance through his Homestead Rebate Program which gives tax rebates to qualified senior citizens. Seniors live alone, they have very few expenses such as groceries for their children, family health insurance rates, and college tuitions. Seniors are not the ones who need these rebates. 4. Car Insurance Rates - New Jersey has the highest car insurance rates in the United States. The primary reason is a lack of competition. Insurance companies do not feel comfortable setting up shop in NJ for various reasons (to be discussed in a future blog). In the end, NJ drivers wind up paying through the nose. 5. New Jersey is Rich - New Jersey has one of the highest median home incomes in the United States. Beyond that, property values in New Jersey are some of the highest in the United States. Between cost of living, insurance rates, property taxes, and property costs, it takes an abnormally wealthy family to move into New Jersey. The richer New Jersey gets, the more conservative it is likely to get. This is not a rule of thumb for any state. Though, in New Jersey it seems to be the likely trend. 6. Governor McGreevey - McGreevey did the democrats of New Jersey a huge injustice when he admitted to his gay affair with an Israeli who was controversially put on the state payroll. He left a stain on the democratic party that may find itself pushing into the federal scene this November when New Jersey voters vote for their next President. Conclusion: New Jersey is tired of democrats. Polls are showing New Jersey to be a swing state for the first time in a very long time. No longer can the democrats just put their names on the ballots and expect a majority win. Kerry and Bush are both going to have to work for New Jersey, a state that is fed up with the local, state, and federal democratic politics. Maybe one day I'll get to have a beer with someone my age who doesn't want to slit my throat when they begin to sense my conservative tendancies. Maybe one day my dad can run for election again in our small town on 4000 and get himself a couple votes.

The Great Debate

2004-10-01T15:24:00.000-04:00

OK, the debate is over. The entire world is buzzing about it. It's kind of like if Britney gets divorced again. Every blogger in the world is going to talk about it. With that said, here's my take. The debate was largely boring. However, in terms of the candidates getting their points across, the format of the debate worked great. There was some skirting of questions, but not many. Both candidates seemed to get their points across in the allotted time. Who got the edge? I think probably Kerry got the edge and I'll tell you why. Of the three debates, this one is the one that Bush had to slam a home run on. This is the one that Kerry is trying to make the center of his campaign and likewise for Bush. Both candidates think that they are 100% right. However, since Bush has already tried his approach and Kerry has not yet, Bush was in a position where he had to prove his position is correct. While I do believe it is correct, I dont think he changed any minds that may have been on the fence. Basically, I think if there were any viewers sitting there that are weary of Bush and kind of insecure about Kerry; I think Kerry may have gotten some of those voters to go with him. With that said, let me bring up some interesting points.

Bush's main arguement seemed to be "Wrong War, Wrong Time, Wrong Place," which are the words of Kerry. I think this worked pretty well for Bush. Kerry had a tough time defending this and at one point even said regarding the war on Iraq "it wasn't a mistake."

I found it strange that Kerry kept bringing up his service in Vietnam. Sure he went to Vietnam and served our country and most of us didn't. Bush probably even wussed out. However Kerry's service record has been one of the biggest problems in his campaign and he still continued to bring it up. I don't think the Bush camp expected this.

Bush looked tired. Every news agency in the world is saying this. Bush looked tired. Yea, he did. He looked very tired. At one point during a very short split screen I even saw Bush rubbing his eyes. His skin looked paleish. He leaned on the podium. His shoulders were slouched. These are all very bad things. On the other side, Kerry is tall, very tall. He looked huge next to Bush. He was well groomed and stood up straight and looked young (granted, he had a spray on tan). He looked "Presidential," which was one of the big objectives on the Kerry side. Infact, he looked more presidential than the president. That is not good for Bush. However, I don't have any problem with Bush looking tired. He looked tired because he was tired. He is the president of the strongest country in the world who currently has the majority of their sons and daughters fighting in combative countries. On the side, he is trying to run a campaign which may be the closest campaign in history in order to get reelected. Kerry on the otherhand is a Senator. Clearly, he is not a busy man.

Bush looked angry. Of course he looked angry. He was angry. One reader at Althouse wrote in and commented on this and I think hit the nail on the head. Here's what he said:

"I kind of liked the anger and the passion he showed. Seemed more like the way a real person would behave - like how I would be if I was defending my family from something deadly and someone came along and told me I didn't know what I was doing."

Well said.

Bush didn't call Kerry out on his "plan" enough. Kerry's big plan for Iraq is summits and summits and a couple summits. He wants to get some more countries on our side. Kerry is pissed that we arent popular. Bush didn't bother calling out the big hole in Kerry's plan. Basically Kerry plans to have a summit on Iraq. Then, if all goes well, he'll have the troops "out in six months." If what goes well Mr. Kerry? I don't get it. Furthermore, several countries have already come forward to say that even if Kerry does win, they wont be sending in any help. Germany and France probably the biggest so far.

French and German government officials say they will not significantly increase military assistance in Iraq even if John Kerry, the Democratic presidential challenger, is elected on November 2. Mr Kerry, who has attacked President George W. Bush for failing to broaden the US-led alliance in Iraq, has pledged to improve relations with European allies and increase international military assistance in Iraq. “I cannot imagine that there will be any change in our decision not to send troops, whoever becomes president,” Gert Weisskirchen, member of parliament and foreign policy expert for Germany’s ruling Social Democratic Party, said in an interview. “That said, Mr Kerry seems genuinely committed to multilateralism and as president he would find it easier than Mr Bush to secure the German government’s backing in other matters.” Even though Nato last week overcame members’ long-running reservations about a training mission to Iraq and agreed to set up an academy there for 300 soldiers, neither Paris nor Berlin will participate. Michel Barnier, the French foreign minister, said last week that France, which has tense relations with interim prime minister Iyad Allawi, had no plans to send troops “either now or later”.

I think Kerry made some big mistakes bringing up this "Global Test." What the hell is a global test Kerry? How exactly did Bush fail this global test? Would we have passed if we sat around and let the UN pass its next 10 resolutions to add to the 15 or so they have already passed? How many do Iraq have to ignore before we are allowed to go over their without "failing the global test?" Are we allowed to go to Iran and North Korea? Kerry says yes. What about Dafur. Can we go there and help those people out of the mess they are in or should we wait for resolutions? Kerry at one point when asked about pre-emption said "No president before me and no president after me will ever cede his right to pre-emption." Ok, so you agree with pre-emption. Most do. We waited nearly 15 years for Saddam to cooperate with the resolutions the UN passed and he ignored them for 15 years. He was able to ignore them because he knew that people like you were more interested in being popular and "passing the global test" then actually going in their and kicking his ass.

Lastly, my favorite quote of the night. Kerry repeatedly brought up his point that we are distracting ourselves with Iraq instead of going after the real terrorists. Finally, Bush got angry and said in response "We can do both." You're damn right we can do both. We are doing both. Saddam is gone. The Taliban is gone. 90% of the people the US set out to get are gotten and in US custody. No terroristic attack (except for anthrax which i tie in with 9/11) has been carried out on US soil since 9/11. The mastermind of the 9/11 attacks is in US Custody. Children and women are going to school in Afghanistan and democratic elections are being held. The interim prime ministers of Both Afghanistan and Iraq have both been to the US to thank Mr. Bush for his outstanding service to their respective countries. Soon, elections for a free Iraq will be held. We are the strongest country in the world, that is a fact. Not only can we do both Iraq and Afghanistan but should it come to it, we could take care of Iran and North Korea too.

Conclusion: While I liked how the debate went in terms of substance. I think overall I have to give the edge to Kerry. His presence, his quick-on-his-feet thinking and his strong voice were enough to convince some of the undecided that he could be a president. Why? Because he "acted" like he was a president. Bush is the president. Bush was tired and angry because he is busy and doesn't want to share the stage with someone who wants to "act." I'm with you George.

Maybe All I Need Is A Shot In The Arm

2004-09-30T01:46:00.000-04:00

Just a couple upcoming dates where I'll be. Maybe I'll see some of you there. Sunday 10/3 - Franz Ferdinand @ Roseland Monday 10/4 - Shoemakers Guild @ The Saint (Asbury, NJ) Tuesday 10/5 - Wilco @ Radiocity Wednesday 10/6 - Wilco @ Radiocity Of course, maybe I wont.

Darrell

2004-09-27T16:55:00.000-04:00

Last night....umm...wow. It's going to be tough to do justice to the absurdity that was last night, but I'll try. It all started when roommate number one who we'll call Danielle invited an old friend from highschool to come hang out. We'll call him Dan. At about 6 or so Dan, Danielle, and roommate number 3, Lindsay, all come downstairs and proclaim they are going to get some BBQ for dinner. I of course am down and hop in the car. After comsuming a couple beers, a realy shitty margarita and about 7 combined pounds of ribs and brisket we headed back home to partake in some casual card playing. After 2 hours or so hours of asshole, crazy eights, and various other games later we are sufficiantly drunk. Ok, so by now you are probably waiting for the absurd part. Obviously going out to dinner and playing cards arent exactly crazy. So here goes. At about 11:30 Lindsay after having too many Captain and Cokes essentially passes out. 1 Down. Come 1am Danielle gives in to the liqour and heads for bed. 2 Down. The girls are in bed and Dan and I are sitting on the terrace (the roof) in beach chairs watching the cars go by. Out comes the weed. Halfway through the first mango flavored (dont ask) blunt Dan see's a lone black man walking down the street. As I watched in horror, he starts screaming to the black man. Before I know it, Dan has run outside, crossed the street, and invited the black man back to my house. The guys name is Darrel, he is 33 and he lives down the road. Darrel is now a guest at my house. As it turned out Darrell was a pretty nice guy. Unfortunatly he had to lead the discussion towards politics and it got rather heated. I was actually pretty impressed with how informed Darrell was on government, current events, and politics. He knew his stuff. 4am rolls around and Darrell leaves. I hit the sack and wake up the next morning an hour late for work and thinking only one thing "Christ, did that just happen?" I didn't even mention the part where Dan leaned to far and fell off the roof.

I Still Love You Tom

2004-09-25T01:13:00.000-04:00

I sat home this afternoon and watched The Burbs on HBO from start to finish. As I watched it I tried to avoid letting my mind wander as I wondered what ever happened to Bruce Dern (the crazy soldier who wore fatigues and had lots of night vision gear) and Rick Ducommun (the bumbling moron who was in a bathrobe half the film), and for that matter Carrie Fischer and Corey Feldman. I tried to concentrate on the pure genious that is the Burbs. The genious is pretty indescribable, as are the genious of two other movies in Tom Hanks shining career. No not Philadelphia, not even Forest Gump, but rather Joe Vs. the Volcano and Turner and Hooch. These 3 movies, for me, define a brilliant and much missed comedian. What ever happened to Tom Hanks the comedian? The following is a list of some of Tom's more famed films. You can pretty much see the progression that this takes. 1. Splash 1984 - Tom makes his big splash (double pun pts!) in this 1984 classic featuring a bunch of crap that no one cared about all wraped around an incredibly hot woman in a mermaid costume. Unfortunatly this looks strangely like it might just be a romantic comedy. 2. Bachelor Party 1984 - Tom tries to do his best Belushi and comes pretty close. An epic story about one man's battle with cancer.. er, setting up a bachelor party. 3. Big 1988 - Some would argue this is Tom's best film. I'm not sure it quite works because a good third of the movie Tom is played by some kid. I think there is a gypsy in there once or twice too. Gypsy's are movie gold. This also marks the beginning of what I call the year (by year I mean 2 years) of Tom. It is in these 2 years where one can easily find Tom-the-comedian in all his glory. 4. The Burbs 1989 - Three guys living next to 3 other guys. The "pizza dude" is on the way too. This can't be bad! 5. Turner and Hooch 1989 - This movie made me cry. A man and his dog and of course some chick who paints her walls at 3am. But who cares about the chick, this guy's dog dies. His dog dies taking a bullet. When I say this movie made me cry I should probably actually be a bit clearer. This movie did, and still is capable of making me cry. I'm choked up right now thinking about that damn dog. 6. Joe vs. the Volcano 1990 - Who the fuck knows what this movie is about. As far as I can tell, this was just a big outtake from the filming of Castaway. I know Castaway was released 10 years later, but it takes Tom a really long time to grow a beard. Hence the early shooting schedule. Ya know, this sorta feels like it might also be a romantic comedy. I really hope Tom isn't being typecast into ninja-romantic-comedies. This concludes the year of Tom 7. A League of their own 1992 - Holy hell did this movie ever suck. 8. Sleepless in Seattle 1993 - Oh for fucks sakes. A romantic comedy. Not even a ninja-romantic-comedy. This movie just reaks of romantic comedy crap. Comon Tom, you can do better then this. You don't need Meg Ryan. I heard she likes the peaches anyway if you catch me. 9. Philadelphia 1993 - OK phew, this definatly isn't a romantic comedy. Knowing Tom it can only be a hilarious look into the life of a gay american with AID's right? God damnit Tom, this isn't funny at all. Is this a drama? Are you doing dramas now?! 10. Forest Gump 1994 - Phew, back to funny. All you had to do was pretend to be a retard. Whatever it takes! 11. Apollo 13 1995 - Jesus Christ Tom, I thought you were back on track. What the hell is this Ron Howard historical-action-drama shit. 12. Saving Private Ryan 1998 - Most overrated war movie ever. EVER! Oh, and not funny at all. 13. You've Got Mail 1998 - AARRGGHHHH! 14. The Green Mile 1999 - Well, at least you had erectile dysfunction. That's funny. 15. Castaway 2000 - Finally your beard came in. Now bring on the laughs. *cricket* *cricket* Tom? What are you doing? Say something! Oh right, you're stuck on an island during a 3 hour movie. The only thing that could have possibly redeemed this would be midget aborignee. No such luck. 16. The Terminal 2004 - Whatever the fuck this movie was about only god knows. 2 hours of Tom Hanks stumbling around on the same set. It was kind of like putting Forest Gump on that island rather then Tom. I'm sorry Tom. I'm going to have to dismiss most of your career from my mind. When I was 10-14 you were the shit. You were the cream of the crop. You were my living idol. You were the funniest man I knew. Then it all went downhill and I know why. It was that BITCH Rosie in 1992 wasn't it? This brings me to the point of this entire post - Rosie ODonnel is a fat bitch. I still love you Tom. :(

I'm In Love

2004-09-24T01:22:00.000-04:00

I came home after a very long day at work today around 8pm. I didn't sleep at all last night because I stayed up literally all night playing poker (i won a couple hundred.) I actually brought a pillow into work with me this morning and slept on my office floor for a good 2 hours before someone caught me. Believe it or not, I'm not kidding around. So anyway, I came home tired and ready to go to sleep. However, Spiderman was in the DVD player so I hit play and gave it a whirl. I have never seen Spiderman. I've seen the second one, but never the first. So this was a bit of a treat. Now, as tired as I was I realized that I am seriously in love. Enough to dedicate an entire post to this. First, a bit about my tastes (read: these are not requirements, simply preferences): -I like my women with shorter then average hair. I don't know why. Its not a gay thing or anything, I just really like the way short hair can make a girls face just explode much moreso than one whose is hidden behind a headful of hair. -I like my women to have a smile that they pretty much have to TRY to not display. I like big beautiful smiles. -I like my women to have light colored eyes. Blue or Green. -I like my women to be athletic. Not huge and buff, just fit. A teeny belly is fine of course, but you should be able to run a mile in under 10 minutes. -I'm flexible on this one, but generally I like a nice Jersey Girl. :) Now, with that out of the way, I'm in love with Kirstin Dunst. I never used to be a huge fan. The blonde hair always kinda sent me the other way. I have nothing against blonde hair, its just not something I usually look for (much unlike my brother who will only speak to blondes). But today, while watching spiderman, I fell in love. This 22 year old woman is the perfect woman for me. I'm certain of it. So as I sit and watch the movie I start debating with myself why I should be perfectly capable of dating Kirstin. I'm just the right age, a little older like the chickees like. I have a decent job. I have a car. I dont live with my parents. I have a college degree. I'm relatively intelligent. I dont think I'm the ugliest mofo in the world. So fuck it. I should be able to date her. In other words, I have a favor to ask you kind readers. If any of you know, or know someone who knows, or know someone who knows someone who knows Kirstin, please dont hesitate to get in touch with me. I'm a nice guy, I'll treat her right. By the way, it should be mentioned that Kirstin was born in Point Pleasant, a clean 2 miles south of where I grew up. Man is she ever perfect.

Stop Drinking

2004-09-23T01:00:00.000-04:00

The biggest problem with blogging is trying to find the focus of your blog. Some go the route of pop culture chronicaling. Some go political. Some use humor and jest to observe the world. Some are just plain old diaries. I have spent a great deal of time in the last few weeks trying to find the focus of this blog. What I've realized is that it probably won't ever have a focus. While attention is good, it is not what drives this blog. I like getting comments and I like checking my stats to see new referrals etc etc. However, ultimately this blog is just a diary. I look forward to posting here essentially for myself. Its sort of a release. The fact that anyone comes here to read my selfish dribble at all astounds me. But some do, and I appriciate it. I hope I entertain. In other news, a friend of my family died yesterday. He drank himself to death over a long period of time. He was 31. His 10 year old daughter apparantly was uncontrollable with anger and disbelief at the wake/funeral. Please dont let alcohol take someone you love. I'll miss seeing you around John.

Tuesday Afternoon

2004-09-21T17:29:00.000-04:00

Things haven't been so good lately with my family. My father and I talk only when he calls to bitch and or tell me what a waste of life I am. I havent talked to my mother in weeks. My father likes to end most of our conversations with things like "your mother has been crying for days over you." It's not pleasant. The last time I was home I had some time between shifts at work and I thought I'd go home and say hi. No one was home at the time so I sat down and made myself a sandwhich. It was a good sandwhich, ham and cheese with mayo on rye. Before I was even half way done my father came home and told me to leave. He wouldn't even let me finish. He told me I wasn't welcome in his house. That kind of hurt. I'm usually very very good at containing my emotions. I owe most of that to my ex-girlfriend who essentially made me a cold hearted son of a bitch. Actually, I was probably a son of a bitch before that, but at least I had a heart. While its very very nice to not be in the constant presence of my family anymore I do sincerely miss them. I almost miss getting bitched at. I miss my mom, I miss my little brother and I miss my sister. My father... well I don't miss him yet. Today as I was leaving work I drove by the tennis courts where St. Rose highschool was practicing. My brother is on the team so I stopped in to see if he was there. He wasn't and it made me really really sad. I wasn't going to say hi or anything, I just wanted to watch him play a bit without being seen and then be on my way. But he wasn't there. The worst part about all of this is that I don't have anyone to blame or to hate. I put this on myself. I'm not prepared to say how in this blog just yet, but maybe sometime soon. I fucked up and they kicked me out. I may have wanted to leave, but I didn't want to leave like that. The good news out of all of this is that this is hands down the most emotion I have had in almost 3 years. After a very bad breakup with someone that I was in love with, I found a way to make myself completely immune to feelings both good and bad. It was almost like being on an anti-depresant without actually taking a drug or going to therapy. Probably not the healthiest way to handle things. But here I sit legitamatly sad and upset. I could cry. And it feels good.

If I Could Bring 3 Albums

2004-09-19T20:53:00.000-04:00

Sitting around the fire last night, Connor (the kid who lives below me) posed the question, "If you were on an island and could bring only 3 albums with you, which would you bring?" I didn't have to think about it long. 1. White Album - Beatles (its two discs. you cant go wrong. this album covers every emotion known to man) 2. Yeild - Pearl Jam (just pure rocking great songs) 3. Nebraska - Bruce Springsteen (folk rock bruce style. I love it.) What would you bring?

My Ass Is Back

2004-09-15T11:39:00.000-04:00

New cell number, new pad, new tires on my car, new job, no parents in site. This is almost as great as college. I'll just give a quick description of the new place before I head off (I have some things that need doing). I came home last saturday after a 13 hour work day. I was tired, very sore, and very sweaty. Pulling into my driveway I had one thought only - "please let someone be home." You see, at the time I had no internet, no cable TV, no roommates, no nothing. I'm not familiar with the area so I didn't feel comfortable trying the local bars just yet. Well, I hit the fucking jackpot. As soon as I parked I noticed several cars. As I walked up into my backyard I heard laughter and smelt smoke. I turned the corner and there was the kid who lives below me sitting around a giant cast iron lawn fire pit thingy. Around him where 4 other kids including one with a joint and one on the phone ordering pizza. In the middle there were two cases of Budweiser. Behind us all was a stereo blasting some old school Neil Young. What a great night. These are my new favorite people.

Check - 1,2,3

2004-09-07T13:03:00.000-04:00

Just checking in. I'm all moved in and setup in my new place. It kicks alot of ass. I should have an internet connetion by the end of the week. See you all soon.

Moving

2004-09-01T00:17:00.000-04:00

Tommorow (sept 1) I will be officially moving. It may be a couple days until the next post as I wont have an immediate internet connetion at the new place. Consider yourself warned.

The Gong Show

2004-08-29T13:46:00.000-04:00

This is one of those stories that is just soooo good that it needs it's own made for TV movies. I have this friend Chris Manning. He's sorta half retarded I suppose, not the brightest book on the shelf. Probably did way way to many shrooms and bong hits when he was 12. But anyway, he's a good kid. Everyone calls him Manimal. So two weeks ago Manimal goes to Pauls Cabin here in Belmar to see the band Dutch Oven. Dutch Oven is an interesting band who tend to use several props in their performances. On this night they had a very large gong and a football helmet. You can pretty much guess what they wanted the crowd to do. They also have a large mattress that they use for a seperate deal. So Manimal gets the idea to combine the three props. He puts on the helmet, lays down on the mattress and gets about 6 guys to lift up the mattress and give it one of the ole 1,2,3 counts and propel him head first into the Gong. So he gets rushed to the hospital...he sprained his neck. This is where the story gets good. The doctors tell poor Manimal that he can't go out, he cant work, he cant drive for at least a month. He's got to just stay home and rest his neck. As expected he decides to ignore the doctors orders and he goes out. While he is out last weekend he runs into a girl with big boobs. We know this girl as being rather agressive. So not knowing of Manimal's ailment she grabs his head and thrusts it into her cleavage (YEA!) and gives him a good shake. Poor Manimal. He goes back to the hospital the next day and wouldn't you know it. His neck is broken. There is no nerve damage or anything like that, but he has definatly broken a vertibrae in his neck. He now has to wear this huge neck brace for a couple weeks/months. After hearing this story I went through a whole series of emotions. First, disbelief, then incredible laughter, then sympathy and apathy, and lastly a weird sensation of jealousy. If I had to break my neck. I'd want to do it with a big face full of boobies.

Listification

2004-08-27T18:31:00.000-04:00

Everyone seems to be making lists these days. Well, almost everyone... AlexisT is just busy getting drunk and making out with married porn stars. But yea, lots of people are making lists. So, I made one too. It probably wont be the last one, these are kinda fun to do. Patrick in a nutshell: 1. I have never seen any of the godfather movies 2. I took 3 years of college calculus and still cant understand a single bit of algebra 3. I have been to well over 10 Pearl Jam concerts and I own every single one of their albumns 4. I HATE Chineese food 5. I once ate a sandcrab 6. I repeated the 5th grade (it was because we moved, shut up) 7. I actively listen to country and alt-country music 8. It is very possible that I will be in the city for the GOP National Convention 9. I have never cheated on a girlfriend. 10. I dont dance 11. I know every word to every song in Wee Sing in Silly Ville 12. I love karoeke 13. Shots make me puke 14. I went to catholic school literally my entire life 15. I own a pair of yellow shoes - that I wear regurally 16. I own over 100 Star Wars action figures which I have kept in their original packaging. It's an investment 17. I think...no no, I Know that Paul was the most talented if not the only talented Beatle. 18. The new Interpol albumn is a piece of garbage. 19. Get ready, number 20 is really bad... 20. I am a card carrying republican.

Worthless Post

2004-08-27T18:28:00.000-04:00

This is totally unbelievable. I'm not sure where my opinions fall on stem cell research, but this definatly pushes them towards it. The USA mens basketball team will not recieve either a gold or a silver medal. Wow. Does this mean we are not the best? No, it doesn't. The USA is still the best basketball nation in the world. We lost because we are the richest and whiniest nation in the world. Put the real allstars on the team and we would have won each game by 40 as usual. That didn't happen though. These guys are making millions of dollars each year. They got a free college education (well, some of them), and they didn't have to serve a single day in the military. Yet, when asked to go represent their country in the Olympics they refuse. Assholes. The only one with a legitamate excuse for not joining the team is Kobe Bryant. What's his excuse? He raped a woman and is busy with his trial. They found the beer. Phew, Canada is back to normal. Bloggers are a-buzz (Stereogum, Witz, Ultragrrrl, Lindsayism) with the discovery of the most-likely-fake blog of Strokes leadman Julian's girlfriend. The site is dead, but screenies and ramblings can be found in the aformentioned links.

If I Had 50,000 Canadian Beers

2004-08-26T21:15:00.000-04:00

This is such a great story. To make it even better, CNN pretty much refuses to acknowledge the fact that maybe these crazy hosers never had any intention of selling the beer. Here's a snippet: "They can't sell it anywhere in Canada without giving away the immediate fact that it's been stolen... So we have crooks stuck with 50,000 plus cans of beer that basically they can't fence."

Wacko at Worko

2004-08-26T00:30:00.000-04:00

I was at work tonite and a woman came in. I could tell from the beginning she was going to be trouble. Our conversation went something like as follows Me: Hello Her: Hello, Have you ever had pistachios? Me: yes Her: do you like them? Me: what? Her: pistachios, do you like them? Me: uhm, yes I guess. Her: I love them, but I can never get a big bag. I always have to get small bags which wind up being more expensive in the long run. Me: I see Her: want to know why? Me: what? Her: want to know why I always have to buy small bags of pistachios? Because I have 5 children, and if I buy a big bag then the entire bag wont last even 10 minutes. (I start to get angry now, but slightly interested)... Me: but if you buy small bags, then dont the kids just eat them in seconds? Her: no, because I can hide the small bag Me: oh right, where do you hide it? Her: well, I put them in a little tin in my sewing room Me: you have 5 children and yet you have an entire room dedicated to sewing? Do your children all have their own room? Her: no, they share rooms. 3 girls in one and 2 boys in the other. Me: I see, so if you put the pistachios in a tin in your sewing room how long do they last. Her: 3 weeks or so. Me: your kids dont find the pistachios in the sewing room? Her: no, the kids are scared of the sewing room. Me: yea I gotta go. Bye Yea, I dont know what that was about.

Dave Matthews Is Full of Crap

2004-08-25T09:38:00.000-04:00

Dave Matthews likes to pour POOPIE all over people.

Did I Mention NJ Is Gay?

2004-08-24T00:54:00.001-04:00

A man in a pink shirt came into work tonite. He was clearly gay. He carried a purse. When he left he forgot his purse. I grabbed it and ran outside to catch him. I screamed across the street to him... Me: Uh sir! you forgot your european carry all! Him: Are you implying something? Me: uh, i mean wallet. I was so happy to have been in that situation after literally JUST seeing the seinfeld episode where jerry gets a european carryall. It was one of those moments where there is only one perfect thing to say, and I got the chance to actually say it. NJ is gay, more on this soon...

My Brother

2004-08-22T01:21:00.000-04:00

My brother is a really weird dude. He's 17 and god is he ever 17. I don't think I can explain it any better than that. So anyway, he has this blog that I dont think he knows I know about. I like to read it occasionally even though its more or less impossible to read. I dont understand 99% of it. One of his more recent posts contained this big list of 140 some odd things to be happy about. I found this list just way to funny to not show you guys. I think the first 2 things pretty much sum up my brother in all his glory. Here it is: list removed because its just too fucking long. if you care, you can check it out on his site linked above

Human Error

2004-08-21T22:44:00.000-04:00

Got this in the mail today. I took the night off from work and even found someone to go with me to this thing. So yea, they inconfuckingvienanced me. Dear Fan, You are receiving this email because you purchased tickets to the Franz Ferdinand show on September 9th, at the Roseland Ballroom in New York. Unfortunately, due to a human error on our part, this show was OVER SOLD, and we are unable to fulfill your ticket purchase. However, we have arranged for your ticket order to be honored for the newly announced Franz Ferdinand show on October 3rd at the Roseland Ballroom. If you do not wish to attend the October 3rd show, we will refund the full ticket price, including shipping and service fees. If you wish to attend the October 3rd show, we will refund to your credit card 50% of the ticket price plus all shipping and service fees. Please accept our apology for any inconvenience this may cause you. Musictoday accepts full responsibility for this matter, and it should in no way reflect negatively upon Franz Ferdinand, The Roseland Ballroom or Clear Channel Entertainment. Once again, we are very sorry and hope you can make it to the October 3rd show. Please reply to this email by 5:00 PM on August 27th with your preference and any questions or comments you may have. Sincerely, Ticketing Customer Service Musictoday, LLC Sonsa Bitches! *shakes fist in the air*

I can't say no

2004-08-21T10:12:00.000-04:00

Last night was supposed to be a nice quiet night. I got off work around 10 and went home sweaty, tired, and smelly. I was going to shower and then lay down and read a couple hundred pages. Before I even got home I got a call from a friend going down to a party in Manasquan. It was friday night, and I had a ride to a party. Fuck it, I was in. We got to the party and the second we walked in was the exact second that the entire party simultaneiously shotgun'd a beer. Quiet night remember? We got to 507 around midnight or so and met up with a bunch of people. One of my friends was sitting at the bar. He had these little shorts on and he had them pulled all the way up around his hips exposing both of his pale, fat, white thighs and perfectly outlining his man meat. His goal was to see how many hugs he could get before anyone noticed. You'd be amazed at how many chicks didn't notice the great white thighs. Best quiet night ever.

Garden State

2004-08-20T01:01:00.000-04:00

I saw Garden State (FINALLY) for the first time this afternoon. It's possible that this movie will change my life. It made it into my top three movies. The new top three are: 1) High Fidelity 2) Garden State 3) Big Fish What did it knock out? Singles used to hold the number 3 spot.

Lease = Signed

2004-08-18T00:08:00.000-04:00

So thats that. I signed a lease and I'm moving September 1. Don't worry though, I'll still be representing the the best state who ever bred a vacation swindling - helicopter abusing - nj transit authority corrupting - chief of police with a criminal record appointing - israeli head of NJ homeland security cant get a national security clearance making 6 figures job giving - fag. When you think of penis, think of NJ. When you think of NJ, think of me. Therefore, when you think of penis, think of Patrick :) I'll be moving into a nice little place in New Brunswick. It takes a huge time of my potential commute to NYC assuming I ever find a job. It means no more living with the devil (i'm partially joking) that is my mother and father. Sept 1, I'm a free man again. Just like in college but without the girlfriend keeping me down.

What a Mess

2004-08-16T23:58:00.000-04:00

The weekend is over and as a responsible blogger I suppose it is time to update. Forgive the many tangents to follow. Right now I'm sitting at home. I just got back from a meeting with a potential landlord to go over a lease for a place in New Brunswick, NJ. Do I have any reason to be in New Brunswick? Of course not, I dont think anyone does. But whatever, it's closer to NYC than I am now, the rent is cheap, and the roommate would be fun. The other 2 roommates however may pose a problem. Eitherway, nothing is decided. Bottom line, I'm sitting at home wishing to god that I could play guitar (I can't because my parents are asleep), or listen to music without headphones (I can't because my little brother is playing some star wars xbox game next to me), or turn on the olympics (I can't for the same reason as before). I can't do a god damned thing that I want to do and I hate it. I hate being here. I hate having to create my life around the lives of people who don't want me around in the first place. A friend of mine tonite, someone who is very quickly becoming a very good/close friend mentioned that she just got out of the shower, and that her hair smelled really nice. It's amazing how powerful a statement like that can be. I literally got up from my chair and walked around for a minute. It's been a very long time since I have been with a girl long enough to get the chance to just kind of sit with them. The kind of sitting where you curl up and just feel comfortable. The kind where you can get completely lost by just shutting your eyes and letting the smell of her hair infiltrate your system. It can take you to a whole other level of content. You want moments like that to just last forever. Sex is sex. On the other hand, the smell of a freshly washed head of hair on a pretty girl is really an amazing thing. When I walked around I lifted my guitar for a moment and gently plucked a couple chords togethor. I can't wait utill tommorow to play with those chords again.

Mommy and I Don't Love Eachother Anymore.

2004-08-13T01:07:00.000-04:00

So I was listening to a pretty good chunk of talk radio today. Obviously the topic was McGreevy's big news. If you havent heard, you can see it here, here, here, and here. Here's my problem with the whole thing. All day long on the news and on the radio they interviewed people. First of all, the majority of the people they interviewed were in NYC, second of all they were all poor. Thats not really my point though. Everyone they interviewed said the exact same thing. "Oh I dont think he should have resigned. Being gay isn't against the law. I don't mind if he's gay. He had no reason to quit." What are you freaking stupid? Of course he should have quit. Infact, he shouldn't even wait until November. He should quit right now. Why? Because he's gay he should quit? You're damn right. He's 47 years old. He's been married twice. He has 2 daughters. He has 2 living parents. He has sorta fucked over a pretty good amount of people here. I'm not talking about the people of New Jersey but rather the people in his personal life. Isn't fair to say that over the next few months or even years of his life he is going to be a bit - oh i dont know - DISTRACTED!? Isn't it fair to say that while he tries to iron out the details of being married to a woman while enjoying the finer delacacies of another man's penis that maybe just maybe he won't be able to adequatly serve as governor of New Jersey? He's got two daughters to explain this to. For christ sake, the man should quit right now. This isn't the same as sitting your daughter down and saying mommy and daddy dont love eachother anymore. This guy has to sit his daughter down and say "Hey you know that boy you like in your Social Studies class? Yea, he's cute. You should ask him if maybe he likes me too."

NJ is SOOOO Gay

2004-08-12T16:33:00.000-04:00

Yea, thats right. I've got it before CNN. Gov. McGreevy just admitted to a gay affair. His ass is resigned. Jesus.

A Bold Statement, Followed By Typical Jersey Ramblings

2004-08-11T22:40:00.001-04:00

The new Interpol albumn sucks. Go ahead and flame/berate/yell at me all you like. (infact, I never get comments so this is perfect bait). I have given this albumn a massive amount of my time. I wanted to like it so bad. I read so many blogs around the time that it was "leaked" proclaiming it genuis and this and that. I don't know. I think it sucks. The first three tracks are as far as I can get. Once the fourth track comes on I know there are several more about to follow that wont change in the least. I've tried this albumn while happy, sad, angry. I've tried it while driving, working, napping. I've tried it while running and while sitting at the beach. I have not been able to find a single situation where I can see the so called genious behind it. So my final conclusion? Antics is a disappointment for me. Sorry. Other Stuff I'll be checking out an apartment tommorow night in downtown Manhattan. Don't ask me how I'm going to afford it, but whatever, I'll figure it out. I looks like it's going to be a pretty sweet place. Also, a big thanks to Bob over at My Blog Is Poop. I'm a big fan of his blog and apparantly he reads mine too. I made the jump from "Other Faves" to "Faves." Baby steps Patrick, Baby Steps :)

Sigh

2004-08-10T23:31:00.000-04:00

So this apartment search is really getting to be quite tiresome. So much so that I have neglected numerous things that I try very hard never to neglect. First and foremost, my guitar. I am now patrick+1 looking for an apartment. The +1 is the cute girl from work (see previous posts). So now things are really getting complicated and time is running out. I've got about 20 days to find something. So tonite we drove up to Hoboken to take a look at one of the many apartments. The bastard who said he would meet us there at 8 never showed up. Bastard. 2 hours later I was back home, tired, hungry, and cranky. I read an article in spin last month about Jeff Tweedy's nervous breakdowns. I think I'm starting to understand a bit about how that works. The worst part is, with all this crap going on in my head and around me, now would be the perfect time to sit down and fiddle with my guitar until I got some of it on paper. But I don't even feel like it. How does Tweedy get so much of that emotion out in such genuis forms? How does anyone?

I Hate My Mom's Friends

2004-08-10T23:06:00.000-04:00

At least twice a week my mom gives me a message to call one of her friends. She follows it up with a "don't embarrass me patrick!" God I hate that. What she does is go talk to her friends about me and before the conversation is complete she winds up volunteering me to go to their house (at their convienance of course, not mine) and fix their fucked up household computer. These people (including my mom) seem to think that I went to school for 4 years to learn a bunch of super secret magic tricks to fix peoples popups, aol, email, wireless cards, microsoft word, etc etc etc. They think that they can call me over and say something like "yea, my computer is just generally running slow...the kids are all upset." OK, your six year old computer with 64meg of ram is running slow because you have 4 college age kids downloading music/porn on it all day long. What the fuck do you want me to do about it? Oh thats right! I can just use those magic tricks it took me 4 years to learn. I can wave my hand over the computer and everything will be fixed. You don't even have to pay me, its no trouble at all. The truth is your computer is a piece of shit. You can either go buy a new one for a couple hundred dollars or you can buy a couple hundred dollars worth of upgrades. This is the part where they say "how about you just go and get all the parts and come back tommorow with a receit?" OH FUCK OFF! I don't give two shits about your computer. No matter how important you tell me your data is I know damn well that is a load of shit. The only importance your computer serves is the same importance that the TV once served for my generation. Without a working computer your 19 year old daughter can't IM her friends. When that happens, hell breaks lose. My solution to you? Buy a new computer. Or better yet, tell your 19 year old to go buy herself one. Or EVEN better yet, tell her she has to buy all the parts and put it togethor herself because it will be cheaper that way. Maybe she'll even learn something. I'm not sure I can stress enough how much I hate fixing people's computers. I mean come on, where the fuck did I sign a piece of paper that says I am the town computer-mechanic. Speaking of mechanics, when my car breaks down I dont call my friend the auto mechanic and say "hey man, can you come to my place at say 2 in the afternoon and fix my car for me while I go to the beach with the kids?" Of course not. I take it to the fucking shop he works at. What if he doesn't work at a shop? Then he probably doesnt want to fucking fix cars. There is a really novel realization. Patrick does not work at a computer repair center. He doesn't even do tech support. Do you think that maybe, JUST MAYBE he doesnt want to fix computers? Christ. If I could do it all over again, I'd have been a fucking education major, at least they get jobs.

Random Thoughts

2004-08-09T08:13:00.000-04:00

I headed out to the Norwood last night for another quiet sunday evening with some good friends (budwieser and matt finn). As soon as I walk in Finn declares me his biggest fan seeing as I've been at pretty much every show they've performed this summer. I thought about it for a minute and realized it wasn't quite like that. The truth is I just like beer. He's usually playing at the places I like to drink beer. I always feel bad during the weekend for not getting a chance to update this site. But then I look around the other blogs and realize that no one updates during the weekend. So then I don't feel so bad. Friday night I went to this huge bbq. Around 11ish we all left and went to the bar (507). I was dancing with this girl all night who was a year ahead of me in highschool. When the bar closes I was treated to a kiss and a phone number. The next day I find out she has a boyfriend. Infact I know her boyfriend. He's a NJ State Trooper. What the fuck. I had more to say, but I forget it all. *shrug*

Irony Abound

2004-08-04T01:30:00.000-04:00

I saw some kid riding his bike down ocean avenue tonite. He was riding against traffic. One had was holding a bike helmet which he had tucked against his hip. His other hand was holding his cell phone to his ear. Not only was this kid not wearing his helmet, he was going the wrong fucking way...not using any fucking hands...and talking on his fucking phone. ...and it was fucking funny.